Whether you are currently happily married, or you were happily married prior to an affair:

1)What did you like about being married?
2) Why is being married better than being by yourself?

I am just hoping to hear some other people's perspectives here.

So far, my list of what I liked about being married includes:

1.I liked having someone to talk to about anything and everything. And that someone was a very intelligent, thoughtful, perceptive person.
2.I like having someone who showed me affection, kisses, hugs, etc.
3.I liked being with someone who made me feel special, showed me attention, and genuinely cared about me and how I was feeling.
4.I liked being with someone who liked to do the same things as me for recreation.
6. I liked being with someone who shared my goals in life. I liked being with someone who I was going to have children with.
7.I liked being with someone who was so generous, romantic, kind, funny and charming.
8.I liked the financial security.
9.I liked always having someone at my side who supported me unconditionally.

How about the rest of you?

Jen

Hmm, did anyone here LIKE being married? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> LOL
I just find it odd that there have been no responses!

JB

Well, it's Sunday evening...to the best of my knowledge that's a pretty slow time on these boards.

Prior to the A I found marriage to be convenient. It was easier financially...and I was no good at being alone. Since the A I came to appreciate much much more. My H has become my best friend. It's so good to come home to a partner...someone to help eat the meals I love to make...and it doesn't hurt he helps with the dishes. A partner to help raise our son. Someone to cuddle up to at night. It's still much more convenient financially...for both of us...and while I've learned I can be alone, I still prefer not to be. Marriage has become a bond and a joy, instead of an imprisonment or a chore.

1)What did you like about being married?...

I liked it that someone was their in my life to share the good times and the bad times. I liked it that I had someone who I got to share all those wonderful things of life with. It is best to go through life experiencing things with someone then to be doing it all on your own. It still works on your own but just not the same. I am learning that now, the part of living on my own. One big part I liked is that their was someone who was there who care about me day in and day out. They checked up on you, they talked to you, the helped you...etc...

The financial security

The companionship (if you want to call it that - because, in retrospect, I was a single mom at least the last 3 years he was home and he left when the oldest child was only 4)

Not having to find a baby sitter if I wanted to go to something - maybe once a month - usually with a group of women from church.

Having someone to fix things around the house.

That's about all. Maybe some SF now and then - but he was too busy with himself to notice me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Jen,

As someone who didn't marry until their 30's and had a very good batchelorhood, I would like to offer some ideas.

1. Someone to share a lifetime of memories with, beautiful sunsets, travels, laughs, and friends.

2. Someone to share having and raising children with.

3. Someone to watch TV with.

4. To have someone to love (more important in my mind than someone loving me.)

5. Someone to spend my money, but do it in a way that my children and myself are happy with. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

These are the major ones. There are many many smaller ones. I think really liked Hope4's last line as well.

I guess if you boil it all down, the great thing about marriage is the sharing.

God Bless,

JL

the affection including cuddling and nicknames

the (emotional) security, the sense of trust and feeling this will last forever (someone I to depend on)

being with someone who knows everything about me and is concerned/cares for my well being

having a life-long friend, laughing, doing fun things together

not feeling alone or lonely, but instead having a second half, feeling completed

feeling part of a family, supported and cared about

being with someone who has my best interests in mind, someone who wants me to be a better person, will keep me on my toes if I stray the path and/or get lazy

spending time with someone who is interesting, shares my sick sense of humor, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> someone who is not boring, but rather frisky and fiery

being with someone who likes to "play"

feeling a sense of growing old together, having children, going through the adventures and challenges of life together and being there for each other

knowing/feeling that it is forever, someone to count on everyday

maybe someday I feel those things again...

Let's have some more....

Okay, here's mine...

Having someone:

- Who shared similar ideas about the world, opinions, politics, etc.

- To divide up certain responsibilities (e.g. I was vaccum-guy, she was kitchen-cleaning girl)

- Who I felt I could talk to about pretty much anything - and not be judged or feel uneasy

- To look forward to things with

- To take care of me when I was sick

- Who met my EN's pretty well - not perfect, but no-one is

- Who I could build a story around... about what we were doing, where we were going, etc.

I like having someone who can open the jar of Ragu for me...

I like having someone who because of who they are makes me want to be a better person...

I like having someone who makes me laugh, and challenges me...and tells me I am beautiful even after spending the day chasing after my 4, 3 and 16 month old...and says it in a way...that sometimes, I actually believe it to be true.....

But mostly it's cause he is good at opening jars... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
ARK

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jen Brown:
<strong>Hmm, did anyone here LIKE being married? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> LOL
I just find it odd that there have been no responses!

JB</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I love everything about being married, too much to list. As a matter of fact I an only think of one negative to being married - Being cheated on by a spouse hurts MUCH worse than when it's just a boyfriend.

What I love and miss about being married:

- The feeling of being appreciated for everything you do.
- Someone to cook for and share a meal with, and if you are getting your nails done after work, he would have dinner made for you.
- To hold him before bedtime
- To wake up next to him in the morning
- Making our house a home
- Entertaining friends & family
- "To My Wife" cards
- Having pets together
- He's my best friend and I can tell him anything and he won't judge me.

I miss him.

What I like about being married?
Sharing:
life
love
children
Knowing each other well enough that when he's down, I know and can build him back up. When I'm down, he knows and can build me back up.
It's having a best friend, a lover, a family member all rolled into one. Besides God, what else do you need?

Jen Brown,

WOW!!! That is some list you have. I would have a difficult time measuring up to anything like that.

Well, the most important thing to me in my marriage is that my wife helps me to become a better person. Since we have been married, she has been rounding out my rough edges, encouraging (and pushing at times) for me to do better than the status quo, adding spice to my life, and helping me enjoy my life instead of letting the days just pass me by. I could not make it in this world without my better half. My life would be empty without her. We were made one at marriage, and I got the better end of the deal.

To top it all off, she happens to be the most beautiful women I know. She looks spectactular even when I kiss her good by in the morning while she is still sleeping.

Even more icing on the cake, her personality; always energetic, wity, fun to be around, always a warm smile, and her face glows like a warm fire on a cold winter's night. She is sharp as a tack, and forgets nothing.

Well, now I have tears in my eyes. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I remember why my pursuit to win her back is so important to me. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ November 07, 2002, 11:53 AM: Message edited by: Wen ]</small>

I love the look of accomplishment we give one another when we function together as a team and we have a success. The success could be anything...helping our 11 year old pass a math test to buying a resort property together (and getting a GREAT deal!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). It's so much more satisfying to share your successes together as a team. Just my 2 cents!

Thanks for all of your posts. I think that it helps to reaffirm for all of us that marriage is a wonderful thing, and is worth working for.

I have figured out that I am "capable" of living by myself, but I would much rather be with my H.

I should've added one more very important thing to my list, that hope4future mentioned: Someone to cuddle up to at night! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Somehow when the rest of life is a hectic mess, holding each other all night long would just make everything right with the world again.

Keep the replies coming!

I'm still looking for more replies, perhaps from

Zoey
Foreverhers
TMCM
2long
ayslyne
Lisa in London

who I have grown to respect for thoughtful and helpful posts!

Jen