Worthatry

Boy am I jealous! I posted that exact article on Oct 15th 2002 (Study On Jealousy/Infidelity In Men & Women) and you got more responses than I did! Oh well, I'm glad that someone else found it as interesting as I did!

By the way, that comment about "Why does John Walsh still focus on child abductions?" really hits the nail on the head. Forgiveness of not, healing or not, the experience is never forgotten!

Radical Honesty and Openness, right?

I feel as though I'm being attacked in this thread, albeit possibly indirectly. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I know I went off of WAT's initial reason for starting this thread by asking why he's focusing on A's. I guess I should keep those kinds of questions off of the MB boards, as I'm obviously unable to get the correct message across in my words. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Nellie: I'm sorry that you're still hurting so much, and obviously this is all about the A's to you. I guess it's fair to say that we both agree to disagree on this issue. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

And to answer the initial question that was asked at the start of this thread: I too agree that the EA part is the worst to deal with. My H was involved in multiple EA's and PA's for a LONG time. As far as the 3 I focus on on MB, OW#1 was a HUGE threat to me, because of the emotional attachment that was there. OW#2 and OW#3 didn't take too long to 'get over', as I knew it was just sex to my H. (Yes, remembering the PA's still hurt, and even just typing it is bringing back some terrible memories and emotions). However, speaking as a BW, the EA's were (and are?) worse on me.

Karen

Good to "see" you Dave!

So glad to see you have someone who is bringing EXCITEMENT into your life. You deserve the best, just make sure she is!

Oh my, did Sheryl hit it right on. Even now having a marriage that is healed and so incredibly better than it was before my H's A it's those purposeful "decisions" he made that can still haunt me at times. Amazing that after over 3 years of successful recovery it is still true that living through an affair still "colors" one's vision.

I know you have my e-mail. How about an update for everyone on how things are going in your "new" life?! {{Dave}}

Hi Mother! The e-mail addy I have for you bounces, so please send your correct one to DCScandals@yahoo.com, OK?

I've sorta been putting off an update because I know some of you would maybe disapprove of my new romantic interest - the "too soon" argument. But TOO BAD!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I started seeing this wonderful lady in early September after meeting her via match.com. She's local, 4 years younger than I, never married, no kids - was previously "married" to her career and is now trying to catch up on things she missed. I am definitely applying all the things I've learned about relationships in the past few years and I think it's paying off. We are doing well and making some fun travel plans to where it's WARM! (She claims she doesn't get seasick. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> We'll find out!) She and my son have hit it off real well. I have described to her my involvement with this forum and I will directly introduce her to it soon - so feel free to send her a message on this thread. I have nothing to hide and everything to gain (even references to alien abductions and moose brain worms are fair game <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ).

Aside from that, my son is doing well in 9th grade, but I am practically clueless about what goes on in his life when he's with the aliens, 50% of the time - he doesn't like talking about it.

So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

To Blind Sided: I didn't see your previous post on this topic as I haven't been lurking here much lately - but don't feel slighted!

Karen - please don't feel threatened and please continue to ask me the necessary, tough questions. You and I have a bond that (hopefully) no one else will have to share.

Dave

Hi everyone, and Hola Dave ....

Just offering a suggestion regarding A's and people's perception of "moving on" after experiencing it in their marriage.

Seeking validation for what you've been through is part of healing, IMHO, and I feel the more devistating the circumstance the more time and energy it may take us to heal and "move-on".

We receive validation here on MB, we also receive compassion from our peers because they have been through a similar circumstance. But not all circumstances, like people, are the same, or more importantly FELT the same or as deep.

Believe me, if I could force my feelings to perform under an egg-timer, I would have been over this long ago. But unfortuntely, I'm still going thru it and I'm still making mistakes. But, I am forgiving of myself, so I AM moving forward.

I hope I haven't offended anyone by spoutin off.

Love,
Jo

<small>[ October 30, 2002, 02:00 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

Hi Jo, Dave, Mthrbaard (excuse sp?), NB, Karen and the rest of the gang,

Good to hear from you all.... I was beginning to miss all my long time supporters. I don't mean you are old ya know!!! LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Dave, I am very glad you have met a nice woman. All the best to you and your son.... Please let her know we are not a wierd group just a very seasoned group that have had the benefit and support of being here. All with good intent have a place here.

Just wanted to say hi.

Aloha,
L.

LeAnn, you little honey!

Thanks for saying "hi". Been a while, huh.

Don't know if you've heard, but Lora's H asked for a D. She seems to be doing okay, under the circumstances, but I worry for her still.

She and H have agreed that he will remain in the house until Dec 31st, which by that time he should have secured (bought or built) a place to live .... is she too nice or what? As far as the OW, Lora believes she is completely out of the picture, and so do I from all accounts. But Lora's H is still depressed, and I would venture to guess it may be clinical. Who knows .... I'm just glad that Lora is okay.

Anyway .... I hope you and family are well. So good to "SEE" you, hon. You have always been so caring of all of us here on MB, L. We owe you a huge debt of gratitude.

Love,
Jo

Hey Jo,

Excuse me Dave, not to crash your thread or anything.....but Jo and I haven't talked in ages.......

So Jo, howz it going with you? Thanks for letting me know about Lora. Tell her I have been thinking about the both of you and even tried to call a few time awhile back. I will try again this weekend ok?!??!

I am sorry it is coming to the D for her. Maybe if he is left to live with himself, he will find he is not better off. Lora will be though. Relief comes in strange packages. You know for me letting go is much easier....... but he keeps sticking like glue (shake shake shake!!!). Lora will heal.....she has a good support system. Let her know I am here for her whenever she needs it. I really appreciate U 2 being there for me also.

Ok, I finally figured out this pix stuff, will send you one so you know my mug ok?!?!? he he he!!! Faith and H2y now know that I really am a short mean 'ol woman!!! LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Back to U, Mr. Dave.

Hugz,
L.

<small>[ October 31, 2002, 01:54 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>