My H left 2 months ago. I have asked him to come back. He feels that I do not love him - Did not show him that I cared. We talked on Sun. night and I think I understand how he could feel this way. I didn't realize I was doing the things I was. Maybe it is silly but he was upset that I didn't cook the foods he wanted, never dropped by the office with a coffee, never called to say hi, etc. (he never expressed this to me until now). I asked him yesterday if he would like to come over for dinner on Thursday - kids will be going out for halloween - thought maybe he could spend some time with them and take them out. I would make his favourite pasta and cherry pie for dessert. I was wondering if I should ask him to come over either tonight or tommorrow. He always carved the pumpkins with the kids. Should I ask him if he would like to do that? Am I trying to push too hard. Should I just have him come over Thursday? When I asked him if he would like to come over for dinner Thurs. there was a big pause. I don't know if he just wasn't sure whether he wanted to come or what. On Sun. he told me that he does still love me but is no longer "in love" with me. That was a big breakthrough cause before he just told me he no longer loved me. I don't want to push too hard but I want him back so badly. What should I do?

I was hoping someone could help me with my problem. Please see previous post. Any advise would be welcome. Thanks

Hi Kim3 - I don’t know how much help I can be but I will give you my best advice.

I say invite him - you have nothing to lose! The children will appreciate that you are making an effort to keep traditions intact for them and he will realize that you are making an effort to win him back. He may not be ready to admit to you that he can tell your making the effort but he will realize. As a little back ground info - my FWH (former wandering Hubby) was pretty much the same way - I didn’t know we had problems until he told me he wanted out and was moving out! I freaked and cried and begged and then took a step back and realized that we had put everything in our lives first except our marriage. We had kids, bills, family but we didn’t have a marriage! I took the advice of this site and started doing the things I knew he needed and wanted, things just for him, things I hadn’t done in years, like leaving notes in his lunch box and giving him back rubs, at first he hated it and told me that I was trying too hard and that I had to back off but I didn’t stop - I keep it up, showing him in everyway possible that we were meant to be together. It took a good 6 months of him not giving me the time of day and me doing everything in my power to make him realize that I loved him but he started to come around and we are now 9 months past D-day and our marriage is better than ever!

I guess what I'm saying that in my experience that the best thing for you to do is do the things that you know he wants and will appreciate and just remember that he might not tell you he appreciates it or even act like it means anything to him right now and even if he doesn’t take you up on your offer he will know you are trying.

Good luck

Im not sure i am equipped to post, my m is a wreck, but i say invite, make his favorite food, dress up all go T@T together, laugh live a little. come back to your house ask him to help put the kiddos to bed, you never know what need you may get the chance to address, what have you got to lose, all he can do is say no and it sounds like he has been doing that already.
I have a ten year old son, and a daughter i can't face it yet but i am sure to be in your shoes soon. keep posting, it will help

Thanks Notgoingtodothis. I think I will take your advise and ask him over tonight. I'm sure he would have fun carving the pumpkins. Maybe he will see what he will be missing by leaving for good. Hopefully he says yes. Thanks again. Don't let your relationship get to this point. Do something about it now!

Hi Kim...lots of good advice here. Yep invite him to dinner, what have you got to lose. My H told me 5 weeks ago, same thing, i am not in love with you, but i care for you. Now he tells me, he never stopped loving me. Its all fog talk..take care...A/C0810

How'd it go? Sorry, didn't see your post till today. Hope you and your family had a wonderful Halloween together.

Kim - how are you - how was halloween? I dont check in much anymore but for some reason your post has keep me thinking and wondering about you..

Kim,
just wondering how your weekend went, havent seen you around and just wanted to know you were ok. s