Does anyone have suggestions about who I might contact in the Twin Cities MN area that does marriage counseling face to face using the Marriage Builders approach?

I read the article on telephone counseling but I am not convinced yet.

Any recommendations are really appreciated. Also, any plugs for the telephone counseling are welcome. I am not convinced, but that's not to say that I am not open to it. Thanks.

The telephone counseling is great...I'd highly recommend it.

I think they may also be able to refer you to a face 2 face counselor in that area if you decide you are not comfy with phone.

Luki,

Ask away if you have specific questions regarding the phone counseling.

H & I have been astonished with how effective it is. We've done traditional counseling, and now coaching with Steve Harley.

Regarding marriages; the Harleys are expert. I decided not to trust my life with anything less.

My H was concerned with the cost, but we feel we'll be done much much sooner than traditional counseling so will save time and money in the long run.

SH is coaching us to be each other's coaches when we're ready. We're real close. Hope this helps! CSue

Thank you all for the prompt replies. I do have some ?s about the phone counseling. I've read the web site but I need to hear it from the horse’s mouth. Here goes:

1. How is a session by telephone handled when it's the both of you on the phone? Is it effective with 3 people on the line?

2. How would you describe the progress that has come out of the sessions? I know this is subjective.
a) Stop/Start
b) Slow and Steady
c) Rapid Improvement

3. How easy was it to get an appointment at a time that worked and to maintain a regular counseling schedule (i.e. once a week, every Wed. or Thurs...)

4. On average, what was the contact time per session?

5. How many sessions was it before you got some "meat and potatoes" suggestions/advice? (i.e. the stuff you don't want to hear but you know you have to do it)

Sorry for the laundry list. Anyone, feel free to contribute to the answers or add some insights of your own. Thanks.

Like all marriages on the brink, time is of the essence. My plan is to cold call counselors tomorrow and see what I turn up.

Hi Luki,
I have counseled with SH (Steve Harley) a number of times now. My H & I are separated. Hubby has called SH once and actually enjoyed talking to him. In answer to your questions:

1) Yes, if both spouses counsel at same time, it's a three way call, or if you and spouse are in same home, you can use different extensions.
You just have to imagine yourself in an office with him, once you get over that initial mental "hump" it's very easy to talk over the phone.

2) After just one session with SH, I got more feedback and focus than with a dozen visits to the local counselor. He has a very positive personality, and it comes through in his approach. (As opposed to our local guy who was more "Rogerian" in his approach, i.e., listening and then saying "What do you think about that"?)

3) The appointment times vary, Steve is usually available in the mornings and Jennifer in the evenings. Not sure what happens in the afternoons (maybe naps? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> LOL just kidding). Maybe they do local face-to-face counseling then, have you inquired about that since you're nearby? You call on the hour of your appointment, and if he's not available, you call back in 5 minutes (or leave message and he'll call back in 5). That is the only difficulty (not a big one though) that I've had, cuz every once in awhile he'll run over in his time. But I trust that's cuz he was making great progress with the appointment ahead of mine, so I'm happy for them.

4) Contact time is 50 minutes. If he is late beginning, the first thing out of his mouth is "how are you fixed for time"? So he is aware that some of us are calling from work, or have babysitters, or whatever.

5) I feel I got "meat & potatoes" advice in my first appointment. He gave me a plan, with concrete ideas and suggestions, and things to work on. He also uses the questionnaires here on this site, and will give you homework regarding them.

I called MB because I wanted to know that I did everything I could to save my marriage and wasn't convinced that my local counselor had helped us. I told myself I'd pay up to a certain $$ amount towards using MB. I feel like I've gotten my money's worth, and it was well spent.

<small>[ October 30, 2002, 09:42 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Thank you avondale25,

Your responses were very helpful and I think they have convinced me to attempt MB counseling.

I was not aware that Jennifer Chalmers also counseled. Can anyone tell me how her approach/style differs from SH?

That is probably the last piece of the puzzle I would like to know. This site, forum, and the books have been instrumental in realizing what a marriage should be like. Now I hope it's not too late.

Thanks.

I let this thread get buried too quickly. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Anyone else want to add their 2 bits? Thanks.

Luki...
I can tell you from my own personal experience after wasting a lot of money and several sessions (20+) with a local counselor I finally decided to contact Steve H. Steve in one session pin pointed what my wife is doing and we talked about what I should do. I personally think his experience alone justifies for the extra money you have to pay. I got the feeling from my local counselor that she was running a business and really didn't care too much about me. The local counselor encouraged my wife to act on how she feels and to walk away from our marriage. The local counselor was a marriage, drug, depresstion, etc. counselor. Steve H. is a marriage counselor and that is what you need. I feel in the end my local counselor was just talking to me for my money and that is all. Steve H. is worth it. At least talk to him once...