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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 14 |
Last night I was out with the kids. H called to ask me a couple of questions - I answered them. I didn't get home until 9:30 approx. When I pulled into the driveway I saw his car (H left and lives in a townhouse). I thought to myself why didn't he call me and tell me he was coming over? He has all the privacy that he wants - why can't he respect my rights? I don't know if I did a LB but as soon as I came home he said goodnight to the kids and said he was leaving. I asked him why he didn't call me to tell me he was coming over. His first response was he did - check the message on the home phone. Which I already had and no he did not say he was coming over. I told him that the message did not say that he was coming over. Then he said - well you weren't home so I thought I would pop over and pick up a few things (which he did - only a few toiletries). He started to get angry and I asked if he wanted to stay to talk - he declined and went to his townhouse. Did I do the wrong thing? Did I create more friction in our "marriage". I think he was lonely but didn't want to admit to it. Why does he play these games. What do you think?
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 14 |
Is anyone out there? I would love to hear back from someone - any input would be appreciated. Thanks
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 14 |
I am questioning myself if I should have said anything at all. He left last night not very happy. Maybe he just didn't like what I had to say. I don't know. Does anyone have any thoughts?
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 324
Member
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Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 324 |
Kim,
Im not very good at advice, and im here so apparently my marriage is in deep Sh**. However, are you in plan a or b. I haven't seen your story before. Maybe you could fill me in. S
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 19
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 19 |
One of the most horrible things about our situations is the way every little exchange becomes foder for endless second guessing. It's exhausting and makes you feel rotten. I struggle every day with the urge to turn events over and over in my mind, hoping I can "think" my way out. So far all that thinking has done little good and much bad for my mental health. My advice is to let it go. With those words I must also admit that I was up at 4:00 am unable to sleep because of my own obsessing!
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Kim,
Will it help to know that no matter what you said or did will upset him so don't fret about it? Would you believe it and does it make it better? Well it is true.
My question to you is, if he moved out, why is he able to come and go at your home as he pleases?
L.
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