Hi Folks,

I keep asking the same question but getting n answer. Harley says MOST infidelity does NOT cause a divorce; yet there are many questions here that tend to lead me to believe otherwise. Really which is it? I'm not trying to cause trouble, I just want to know!

I believe somebody said it depends on where you live. What about the Northeast?

Thanks in advance!
~F

You won't find your answer here. Most of these people are trying to NOT get a divorce. And, more importantly, you have to figure out why you're asking. Not knowing your story, at first blush would seem you are looking for some sort of "prediction" about the future of your relationship, perhaps?

How about sharing the story?

It's a fact...most marriages do NOT end in divorce because of an affair! HOWEVER, some can't survive the rebuilding. Some shouldn't survive, some are very much worth saving. It all depends on your situation, your depth of feelings, your spouse. Each situation is different! Each is individual. No one formula works for all, no one has a magic crystal ball to see into the future.

Affairs are ONE problem in the marriage created by the partner who seeks outside "comfort/adventure...whatever" instead of working on whatever problems are in the marriage. And there are ALWAYS problems in any relationship/marriage. Nothing runs smoothly all the time...or even most of the time. It is working on the problems instead of escaping them to leave the spouse to pull the load alone.

IF...BIG IF...you want your marriage to survive, IF your spouse wants the marriage to survive...then you have a GREAT chance of meeting that goal. Even if one spouse isn't "working" towards that goal, the other spouse can "hold it together" over the short term. Which happens all the time in marriages. Committment is the byword here.

Since this site is about keeping the marriages together when possible...that is what this is geared towards. It's a self help and guidence and some options which MAY fit your situation in some areas.

Yup, depends on "where" you live...in a marriage where you give your spouse a safe and secure environment and they do the same for you. But this can be in the northeast, southwest, or Timbucktoo!