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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 8
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 8 |
I haven't posted much at all but now I think I need some outside opinions. H and I have been together for 12 years, of that, married for just over 2. No children. Dday was Dec. 01. OW is coworker. I've read SAA, HNHN, and LB'rs. We've been separated since Feb. I've been Plan A'ing all along. He's noticed the changes in me as well as expressed remorse on occassion, but he hasn't asked to come home. He has mentioned that he wanted to work on things, go to MC, but he didn't follow through with it. Since I don't ask any R questions when we do talk, I believe that the A is ongoing.
He's initiated contact with me twice within the last 6 weeks to say that he would like to meet up, but then when I respond with some possible times, he doesn't answer.
His b-day is next week. What would be the right thing to do...send a card, make him something I know that he would like, a pie (which he commented that he misses so much), just leave a message for him. It might be an opportunity to deposit some L$. Any thoughts?
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283 |
How about a card...caring, but light in tone?
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 252
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 252 |
I would make him that pie, especially as he's mentioned he misses it.
When it was my H's birthday I made him a cheesecake. That's something I done every year for 15 years that we've been together. I thought it would be a definite love deposit, but it didn't work out that way. However, YOUR H has offered some remorse, mentioned he misses your pies, and has even mentioned at one point that he would consider MC. I think you have an opportunity here. My H in almost 4 months has NEVER offered remorse and has shown no interest in me.
Make the pie and keep us posted!
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 8
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 8 |
Kam6318 and Kimmy, thanks for the responses. I think I will go for it. When we last spoke he knew that I had made a pie for a family member's birthday. And he said, "Well, I would like some pie too...." [said in a meek, almost child-like voice]. Just shy of asking me to make one for him, I suppose. If I had said what I was thinking, "well the local supermarket has some pies for about $3.00", it definitely woulda been an LB.
Again, thanks for your input. I really appreciate it. I could be setting myself up for disappointment by keeping things open betw. us, but as I've had to learn the hard way (like everybody), NOT to have any expectations from WH.
Take care.
Linday
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