Any advice here would be greatly appreciated!! I am just confused on what to do.. A little background.. H had an A with a co-worker a year ago. when i found out, i kicked him out, he came pleeing back and I let him back in we went to counseling (once) and he promised no contact with her. i find out it is still going on, (after several times of him telling me, he told her its over) anyway. at this point i don't think anything is going on. I filed divorce and it will be final nov. 12. i told him (all along, when I first filed) that we need to work on our marriage. i told him i mentally can't get over it and i need him to go to counseling with me to get over this. he has refused -- or he'll go once (when i find out there's been contact) and then not go for another 2-3 months (when i find something else out). It's like he's going just to appease me at the time i find something out just to shut me up. he actually still denies having an A with this woman, they were just friends, it was no big deal & that I need to grow up and get over it. well, i can't first he doesn't seem to want to work on our marriage, sure he is being nice to me (as apposed to his verbal abuse relationship in the past) and he does do stuff now (every once in a great while) with the family -- that is unless something better doesn't come along (ie. hunting, his parents need him, he has work to do) and usually when we do stuff with him we have to go in to his "world" he never spends time doing something like taking the kids to the park or to their awards banquet etc. when he does spend time with us (rare) it is fun and he then is a good father. we just are always last (if at all) on his priority list.

my other fear is if he thinks it was no big deal about the A (and I 'let' him get away with it) then it'll happen again. plus, she is the type that won't give up. this is the 3rd marraige she has broken up.

i don't know if i mentally can handle them working together. especially because he hasn't given me any indication that he is truly sorry. (just says he is -- basically says alot - but never follows through) same with promises, he never comes through on what he says. I can't trust him about anything.

he is very materialistic and now has stopped direct deposit on his paycheck (or so he says, i will find out on thursday)because he wants to decide where the money goes -- all i do is pay the bills!

he also counts down (to the t) the day when our divorce is final. is that because he can't wait or is worried?

i am alittle afraid of plan b because when things get rocky he gets vindictive -- steals things, says nasty things, threatens me, and has been rough with me in the past when i first found out about his A.

i guess my question is, is there any hope or should i just throw in the towel. i have been seeing a mc and even she says if i could live with the fact that he is incapable of putting our (his families) needs in his priorities and has recognized that he is with us unless something better comes along.

what kind of stable, secure relationship is that for me or our 2 little kids (ages 2 & 4).

Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!