hi..

for those who followed my posting...

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=020877

i accepted the fact that i have to seek separation or divorce from my wife ..but there is something that is holding me...6 months ago we bought a rental house and spend quite a bit of money on fixing it...it will take on my estimate another year before it will help us on paying the rest of our debt...in short i am not financially prepared..i have to hang on..

my wife's affair with OM2 is full blown...what bothers me is why tell me some of their conversation, the movies they watched, his background, his work...etc..."helllloooo" what's wrong with her.....doesnt she know that it "hurts" me?...i promise her we will remain friends but i don't need this crap...how can i counteract this type of conversation without being destructive...we still do house work and repair together, movies with the kids, or dinner, even wine at night if she decided to stay...but we don't talk about the OM2 or about our relationship..

i did ask her several times...when she intends to move out..and everytime i touch this topic...she gets upset...and arguement will start to begin...i have to stay on my house with the kids as long as i can...this is my kids sanctuary and it is only 5 to 10 minutes walk from their school...

i have to keep my sanity and composure for my kids sake...i am better off now and accepted the fact i am losing her soon...i was able to gain my weight back..eat well and lots of energy to do all work that i face..my kids and i are adjusted without her around the house..

how can i handle this kind of conversation...telling me stories about OM2...like right now they (with OM2)are in montreal (canada)..she calls me and said i should come there it is beautiful.....doesnt she know that it is painful...?

Read enablement on my sig and also read Zorweb's latest post on Plan A, doormat, ...

IMHO, rule#1 as always no LB !. Doesn't mean you can not tell WW that you are not interested and hurt. Just say it ... you know W, I am feeling hurt by this conversation, could we talk something else ?. If she is still going ... walk away from it !. Tell her you love her but you can not stand listening to her and it hurt ... until she could help you out with this issues to protect yourself emotionally.

Just think about it ... Why the heck you take all the abuse then OM#2 takes the nice part of her. If you refused it, let WW gives it to OM#2 ... she comes w/ that package.

Pain is given but misery is optional ....

-rh-

<small>[ November 02, 2002, 11:22 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>