I've been reading on and on about the fog and what goes through WS heads...but what makes them so wrapped up into it? the lust/love/en being met?
I know A can be an addiction <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
I'm wondering about others stories on the Fog and excuses they heard from WS.
after finding love letters (see below) his excuse was he was drunk when he wrote it and he never gave it to her.

My stbxh's FOG
Just to Keep my mind on track that STBX is Not thinking about me I thought I would type the love letters I found before Leaving our place.What is crazy is he used to write me love letters and songs same words more in deepth letters...but it's healing for me to do this..so here goes

Letter to Marcy from Ken (Marcy is the first Ow..who is now divorcing her husband after he had an affair on her)
(Marcy)
I like to hold you I like To keep an angel by myside.

Found that in his wallet..
Sept 12th 2002

Here's a long one to Marcy from Ken:
Tonight I sit underneath a blanketed sky
of stars thinking by the time you get this letter THE MOMENT WILL SURELY HAVE PAST..THAT IS...WERE I AM NOW.
I sit here in a dazed confusion of Love,Fustration,and Hope.In my mind I'm looking back at past Memories like a door Left blown open by a winter storm.I sit here shivering because I am cold.I'm cold only by the thought that I am not with you now.
I dream about warm summer nights that I miss.I miss the way your silky hair blows in the wind.
As I listen to the waves crashing beside us.Holding you this close and feeling you breathe alows my soul to melt upon your soft lips.What do I do now? What do I say? My mind is left rushing for answers,because you make me feel a way I have never felt before.
I touch your velvet skin and pray---I can live like this again.I stand holding onto you listening to your heart and giving into your suductive brown eyes.I am in Heaven..everything I've ever hoped,dreamed,and wished for was in my arms that night.I sit now again thinking.
Another door has opened in my mind.One that shines bright with sunshine and a gateway to a white picket fence,and a house of Love,a Lifetime of Happyness.This door however cannot be walked through tonight.It remains a promise of hope for days to come.I sit here with my eyes closed revisioning your laugh,your smile ,your sent.In everything I do,Everywhere I go,I am in constant remembrance of you.How I could wish I could only wrip apart a page out of time to experance you again,the way I have today.How I wish I could pull back time to just see you again,now ,in this moment.
I understand good things come in time and that patients is a virtue to Love Life and everything that matters...so here i sit thinking of you Goodnight you girl I love you

Here's one from *Star the OW he is very involved with Now as well....
(she's 20 and a cop of all things**comes from a very wealthy family..buys him everything)

Sept 2002
Dear Ken,
Well Hey! How are you? I am just Amazed that you dropped me off about 10 min ago,and I am already missing you..like it's been days.I have this undescribable intimate connection with you that touches me in ways I have never been touched before.I am infatuated with you Ken.It's crazy to think how life and love work themselves out,but at the sametime it's so breathtaking and beautiful.It's just extremely strange timing how some people and there significant others come together these days.But I like it!!

It keeps life Real and interesting,the way it should be.I trust my feelings and I trust my life.Therefore I truly believe it would be a huge mistake for me not to be with you,because I refuse to fight what is meant to be.When I think about you which is constantly I feel intimately weak.Like the exact way when you kiss me.
I melt when I think of the way you hold my face when you kiss me.The way you look into my eyes when your done kissing me.Ken I feel like I have already made love with you.I can't even believe the intensity gets stronger and stronger..more intimate.We have so many wonderful things in common,but just enough differances to make things interesting.I think everything is perfect that is your perfect for me.
I want to take all your pain away because I don't think it's fair for a person as great as you are should be hurting the way you are.Well here I will leave you at this -I will never hurt you.And I don;t make promises I can't keep.After all while no ones watching us why don't we just do it in the road.
See you friday
Love Star Serene
P.s I am so glad you came into my life slowy but surely your becoming my life!
What A Stud <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
Is this CRAZY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> How in Gods name can he feel like this about two women....I just wanna copy them and send them to both ow....so bad!!!

<small>[ November 02, 2002, 08:57 PM: Message edited by: BetrayedByMyBestFriend ]</small>

bUMP

My take on the "fog" issue is that it is a state of confusion. jmho So often the WS is saying one thing, doing another and he's/she's doing it with both the spouse and the OP. They can't quite see the path they are taking or where it's leading. They come to forks in the road with no sign posts on where to go. They start down one, turn back, start down another, and end up right back where they started.

Then you also have WS who know exactly what they want...everything their own way. Getting their needs met by one or two or more without ever meeting anyone else's needs. They're called "Cakemen/women" or serial betrayers. They only calm the waters down enough to continue on their merry little way with no real intention of changing a thing.

Don't know what you're dealing with, a spouse in a fog, or a cakeman, or a selfish b@stard. I pray that he's just confused and that the "fog" will clear. What he discovers when the "fog" clears could go either way, back to the marriage or filing for divorce.

Good Luck to wherever your healing path leads you.

My take on the "fog" issue is that it is a state of confusion. jmho So often the WS is saying one thing, doing another and he's/she's doing it with both the spouse and the OP. They can't quite see the path they are taking or where it's leading. They come to forks in the road with no sign posts on where to go. They start down one, turn back, start down another, and end up right back where they started.

Just Wifey,
Thats a good way to describe it...I know that in my marriage I was very unhappy as well.But I could never go out on my husband.Do you think it's a moral issue? Or that it's just a weakness?
Just brainstorming..i guess! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Try not to think about the fog. The fog is absurd and unfathomable and incomprehensible. Here's my WWs fog story. I don't understand how they don't see it like we do. But, then again, that's the reason it's called fog! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />