Hi everyone

I've posted here before, but have since changed my name because h always gets angry when he checks this site and sees if I have posted because he feels I am tell our business and gets offended.

But I always receive comfort and good advice, so I can't stop.

Anyway, the situation is that we have gotten to the point in our marriage where I have sought counseling. I am now so depressed that I am starting on antid next week.

I don't think h knows what he wants. I think he is now involved in his 3rd ea, but I can't prove it. He now tells me that we should sell the house and go our separate ways. We have a 2 y/o son, and I have two older children from a previous marriage, 16 and 13 boys. He is so unhappy. The source of his unhappiness is that he doesn't like the way I handle situations. HE doesn't think it's going to ever change. THat's about all i can get from him. He says I am unhappy, so when I try to "be" happy, he gets miserable. WHen I try and avoid him and leave him alone, he gets angry and says I'm not paying attention to him. I can't figure the man out. He says I pester him too much to give him answers that he doesn't have.

He is a stay at home dad who works nights and weekends. HE goes to to work and comes home 2 hours later or more because that's his "adult" converstation time. He doesn't call and doesn't think he should have to. I think that he is seeing somebody because he has done this before, but he says he's not. He says he's "at the park clearing his head and thinking."

I, on the other hand, go to work and come straight home to be with my famiy before he goes off to work and he says i get my "adult" time when I'm at work.

It doesn't matter what i say or what I do, he constantly finds something wrong in it.

Here's the dilemna. If I persue him and try and "be" with him, he gets nasty and says mean things. If I avoid him and stay out of his way, he accuses me of treating him badly by ignoring him.

What do I honestly think? I think he wants out of the marriage, but is biding his time for some reason. He has no desire to go to a counselor to help our marriage and thinks that's fine for me. But, to leave me would mean getting a daytime job and putting our son in daycare and he doesnt' want to do that.

I am beside myself and know that i am an emotional wreck. I AM TRYING to be strong for our son, but this man so totaly disrespects me that I have to stand up for myself and I guess I don't know how.

Oh, and the other night when I called his cell phone, he said he didn't answer it because he had it turned off. Came home at 2:30 in the morning saying he was at the park. I looked at the cell phone and I saw my calls on their as "missed" so I know cell was on. THe week before, he didn't come home until 10:30 so I called his boss (woman I suspect he is having ea with) and she said he just left from being at work with her, but he told me (before I told him i had talked to her) that he was "at the park" and didn't have his cell on then either. He said it's "rude" to call his places of employment looking for him.

I know that I am a persuer. I want to stop. Help!?!!! I am a basketcase. I don't I don't want to end another marriage, but I can't force him to work on this with me. I feel Like I am on whatever ride he is taking me on and he is in control and will decide when it will stop.

Have I been making sense here??!