Ok, it's going into 7th week of discovery, recovery and I still cry daily! Both of us have been to counseling, read Harley's book<BR>His Needs Her Needs and even discussed it. We are together constantly except when he goes to work (midnight shift). We go out all the time and since discovery have started back to church. He is trying so hard and so am I, but I still cry more than a newborn and I don't know how to stop it! His touch, a loving look, song, movie or even a commerical can set me off...what the heck is wrong with me? I thought surely by now the hurt would at least begin to fade but it hasn't!! I have read everything on here and tried..really have, but the tears still come.<BR>I have turned it all over to God, but still there is no peace within my heart.<BR>Please can anyone suggest anything?<P>My hands hurt and my knuckles are white but I won't let go.<P>

Poor Star Dazz- I wish there was a majic cure that would end all the pain and make it go away and I really do understand where your coming from. I know it sounds trite but here it is, it does eventually go away, slowly, very slowly. But it is something you need to work through and believe that we are here for you. I remember the intensity of my pain but have gotten behind it in knowing that it helped me to understand some of the important aspects of the affair, the why, the who, the wherefore. I know it won't help to tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you can't see it but there is, and God never gives you anything you really can't handle. You need to realize the good in all this mess right now... (Believe me when I say I know how hard that is!) But the good is that the two of you ARE working on things. That you ARE recommitting yourselves to this marriage and that you ARE still together. I hope this helps, the only other advice I can give you is to remember to breath, VERY DEEPLY! and that life comes only one day at a time! Good Luck, God Bless, and I will pray for you! Remember, you can do this if you want!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR>

Turning it over to God is right, now, just don't take it back.<P>My Christian counselor recommended getting alone for an hour or so with God and a piece of paper. Write down everything that hurts and angers you and wail & rail to God. THEN give it up in forgiveness. If those same things begin to trouble you, remind yourself you have already forgiven and it is now in God's province.<P>I'm 8 months since first discovery and 1 month since last. This process helps me a lot and I do it frequently since my H isn't re-commited to our marriage.

To give you a possible time frame, after discovering my H's brief affair it took me about 4 1/2 months to begin to feel like myself. I mean just to recognize myself. It was about another month to be somewhat emotionally healthy.<P>Since no one knew about the affair, including daughters, I had to behave normally. Many mornings I was surprised that my feet could actually get out of bed and my mouth could actually speak.<P>Now we are about nine months into recovery. I believe the marriage is better than ever, although that growth had a huge price tag.<P>When I was at your point, I could not have believed I would ever feel better.<P>Hang on, you are doint the right things. Allow this as your time to grieve and grow. I believe that your pain and anger, although altogether legitimate, is not well served if you lash out in anger or try to punish. It will not alleviate pain and will keep it more raw.<P>Cling together, grieve your losses and continue to leave it in God's hands, it will get better.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13