I am a BS. My WW had an EA, which in turn led to a one time PA. I contracted genital Herpes and the PA came to light after that. My WW claimed that she has realized her mistake and broke it off with the OM the day that she had sex with him. She has had NC with the OM since that time and we have been working on our recovery since that time. I have frequented the forums on this site and have purchased two of Dr. Harley's books. I know that my actions, or lack thereof, played a role in my WW's A. The thing that I simply do not understand is what my WW saw in the OM. I make six-figures a year and provide very well for my family. The OM was a forklift driver at a warehouse and is married with two children. My WW and the OM did not know where the other lived and he contacted my wife via a pager that she carried. She claims that she felt that she could not approach me with the problems in our marriage, but what could she possibly have to gain by being with the OM? I realize that he was meeting her EN's, but she had to realize that he was feeding her lines of bullsh*t to get into her pants. My WW is not stupid, she had to have known better. We are now infected with an STD that cannot be cured and I am having a difficult time moving forward. I have been taking Xanax daily and still feel extremely depressed. I keep asking myself why did she not simply talk with me. My question is this: Why would my wife seek an obviously selfish, self-centered person to have an A with? It is almost as if she did not want to know the man. Was she trying to pay me back for neglecting her EN's?