I am not married; however, I believe that married couples might be able to provide some feedback about my situation.

I am dating a wonderful man who is everything I have ever wanted in a relationship. He actually has been married 2 times and recently divorced this year. I really believe he has the qualities I am looking for in a person – the 1st wife he married because she was pregnant w/ his child, the 2nd he married because he loved her and when times got tough, she bailed and wanted a divorce. I don’t fault him for the failed marriages – it is clearly their loss and my gain!!

Herein lies the problem – because he is trying very hard to maintain his standard of living on only his income (verses his income plus his ex-wives), he never has any money. Now I am not a high maintenance type person and don’t require much. I am more than happy to go dutch or even to treat us both but he has yet to take me out on a date. On one occasion, he did buy his meal. I know that this is a huge blow to a man’s ego and he took a lot for him to tell me that he is strapped financially but I’m just not sure how to handle this situation. For example, this weekend we took the kids (2 of them his) to the fair and he commented that he couldn’t believe how much money he spent. I don’t mind it….I wanted the kids to have a fun time. My situation is better because 1) I earn more and 2) I am the recipient of child support. Together, our incomes would be more than sufficient to pay all the bills but during the dating phase, this seems more and more awkward.

I would appreciate any opinions on how to handle this…I don’t want to blow what could be a wonderful relationship, I don’t want to tell him that the smart thing to do would be to sell the house (he really can’t afford it). I’m at a loss…I think it’s important for couples to do things together (other than renting a video).

Any advice would be much appreciated!

he is trying very hard to maintain his standard of living on only his income
Bu tit is something he is NOT able to do, therefore he needs to learn how.

Marriage is NOT going to change the way he handles his finances. It may even go the other way..(Wow! Now I've got LOTS of money to NOT manage properly!)

recently divorced this year.
If I were you, I'd wait at least 2 years before you even think about getting engaged. (And make sure he gets his act together as stated above)

If you were to get married now, nothing would change except you would be sitting at home all the time (you are not living together, correct?)