........well, not really. Was just looking for a catchy title.

Have a little story to share. A personal story.

My H's sister has been confiding in me for the last 2 years about men that she has been talking to online. Through chat rooms and chat programs.
(she's married....for 14 years now and has a young son)

I've listened half heartedly for the last year and a half and have been completely honest in my opinion of it. Telling her that it's her perogitive to do whatever she pleases but that what she is doing could lead her nowhere but on a path of destruction. She knows of my mistake talking to someone online about 4 years ago.

Anyway to make a long story short........about 4 months ago she started telling me that her H wasn't doing this or that for her and that she was thinking about leaving. I explained to her that her H wasn't getting a fair chance in my book because she was talking and focusing on someon else. She agreed.....but was too far in.

The kicker.......she was trying to convince me that she was leaving and moving to another state because she couldn't get any feelings back for her H. She couldn't stand the site of him...resented him......all the classic WS statements.

It finally got down to the wire and she discussed her decision with her parents (my in-laws) and because they love their daughter they supported her decision, even her decision to leave her son with his father. (for the best in this situation....believe me)

The thing is.....she lied to them. I knew it and she knew it......but her parents didn't. She was placing all the blame on her H.

OK.........here is where I come in.

She comes over to see her mother one day and she is still in bed, (we are still staying with H's parents) so we start talking. She's telling me how when she gets where she's going that this guy is going to put her on his checking account and all this and that. (he's divorced...and was before they started talking on the computer)

I'm getting a feeling now that something just isn't right for some reason. She goes on to tell me that her and her H have been talking about splitting everything up and selling the house and in the middle of that conversation with her H she asks him......what if in the next 2 weeks I decide to stay? She didn't tell me what he said because I didn't give her time to.

I said.....(sister in-law) are you nuts?
You just sat here telling me how wonderful your life is going to be with this other person.....(remember I'm the only one that knows there is another person) and you asked your H that question!!!!

Now.....for the last 2 years I've not uttered one word of this to anyone.....I mean anyone.
I don't like this other guy....not from what I've heard about him. She's knows this. Yes....she has met him. They have spent some time together.....which she nows I totally disagreed with......but was wiling to listen to her because.......EVERYONE needs someone to talk to. Just not sure I was the person she should have talked to because of what I did next.

Miss Priss got a case of diarrhea of the mouth and decided........somebody other than me needed to know. (everyone knows I have a big mouth and can't keep it shut to save my life anyway)

I told the mother-in-law. I told her everything.
I decided that I didn't want to deal with it anymore. I had said all I could to her without being really mean about it all. I know that some of the stuff I said sunk in......but I have more than enough on my plate wihtout having to worry about her problems on top of mine and feeling somewhat responsible that her H got hurt in this process.

(her h had an idea of this whole thing. a year ago he found the guys phone # on her cell phone. she changed the # and that was supposed to be that)

K....fast forward.......2 weeks ago she was supposed to leave.

Where is my sister-in-law now?

She is at home with her H and her son.
She confessed everything to her H. EVERYTHING
She changed her home and cell phone #'s.
She let her H have access to her computer and agreed to let him put a password on it letting her only have access to it when he is there to put in the password.
They had a lawyer appt last week to discuss divorce process and they cancelled it.

Here's another kicker....and one I predicted and voiced to her.

Before she confessed to her H she called this other guy and told him that she couldn't move out there with him......(she said because of her son but that wasn't the whole reason she will admit) and this guy verbally attacked her and threatened to call her H and tell him everything. That should have really been a wake up call for her.

So.....for once. I'm glad that I speak my mind as it often gets me into really big trouble and I'm glad I let my mouth get ahead of my brain.

<small>[ November 07, 2002, 08:08 AM: Message edited by: Miss Priss ]</small>

Good for you. I'm so glad it's working out this way. You did the right thing at the right time.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Good job Prissy! These things don't always turn out this way, but you provided a chance for a "normal" family for their son.

WAT

SO glad you told someone before your SIL was too far gone. Could be that's what she was sub-consciously asking for in sharing all those details about the affair with you?

It's very unfair of WS or OP to expect others to keep such a horrible secret. It's really a burden to know something that could cause so much pain to an entire family.

I kept that secret for my cousin for years...and she kept it for me during my affair <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . We both should've been smacked with a 2x4 for not ratting each other out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I KNEW better, having been a BS myself (cousin's OM was married, too). I will NEVER keep a secret like that again.

Good for you, Miss Priss. You did the right thing, and I know your SIL appreciates it (even if she won't admit it yet.)

Lori