I spent most of the afternoon (while the twins were napping anyways) packing my stuff in the basement. I don't have nearly as much "stuff" as I thought. My biggest chore will be the main floor of the house (which includes the boys' rooms). But even then, it won't be too bad. The kitchen is usually the worst, but that's all being split 50/50 anyways.
I'm still very calm. And I'm confused by it. I hope I don't experience a 'big blow'. I'm thinking that I may not... b/c this was all expected to happen (by me).
One of the things I've read about regarding SA, is the general addicts behaviour of disarray. The lack of organization in everyday life, is pretty much parrallel to the craziness in the person's mind.
I used to think that H was just untidy. And of course, he's always used the "I forget easily" line, which I've believed. But it's deeper than that. He has boxes and boxes and boxes of 'stuff' (mostly wires, electronics, computer bits and pieces, and books). And none of it is organized. He's been meaning to get to it for years now. And considering we've only known each other for less than 8 years... that's pretty scary! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
WAT: Thanks. So far, just the odd little vent here and there should be enough for now. I'm sure it'll all really sink in once I actually get word on a place.
Zoey: My mentioning of moving over to the d/d board is more of a matter of speaking. I would never be able to leave GQII... but I also won't be in recovery for a while either... until I'm all healed! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
jdmac1: (((((back atcha!)))))
Jen: Strong for knowing what I want, eh? Keep in mind that I've been at this for almost 2 years now!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
ark^^: It's definitely been a wake up call for me. As for my H... I don't really care at this point. I'm going to assume he's gone forever.
maw64: The amount of self doubt going through my head is insane! It's all part of the addict (and co-addict) cycle. I just have to keep on moving forward... which means getting the heck outta this place a.s.a.p. ("this place" meaning "my house", NOT MB! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ).
Faith1: Ohhh... those grieving emotions. Like the ebb and flow of the tide <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ( I read that in a death book after Andrew died - but I think it was supposed to reflect more on the tears flowing, now that I think about it). I'm getting pretty tired of grieving. But I know I can't get past this without going through it first. My guess is that it'll be a speedier journey than the others.
Lor (Lor): Hmmmm... the outcome I wished for? I did get it. I wanted to make sure that I tried all that I could, to make this M work. And I did. So in that respect, I'm not overly disappointed. I agree, GQII is for everyone, however, I"m finding it more and more difficult to read on here, b/c of the same old same old. I'm fearing answering too cynically - so I keep from reading and answering most.
Cali: I'm not the most religious person in recent years, but I will admit that all I sense is evil when my H is around. It's driving me crazy too. When he was away last weekend, the peace I felt was incredible! I'm looking forward to that feeling again, once I get a new place (even though H suggested I stay here, I don't want to. Too many bad memories, and it's too small for the boys anyways <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ).
Thanks again, my MB angels! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Karen
