MB Friends,
Taking a break from MB for awhile. As you know H and I just went through some stuff and made a big decision to stay where we are and not take a new job/move out of state. H will be taking off till after the new year and we have decieded to do somethings together. Take a few little out of town trips and prepare for the holidays together. Our first real holiday since recovery.

I want you to know that I will be thinking/praying for each of you. I know you are all going through so much. Recovery is an never ending job but to me its the best job out there.

Don't lose hope. Never lose hope. I am a Former Wayward Spouse that was given a next to nothing chance to recover with my H and I did it. If I can do you, so you can you. Its not easy. You have to give more than you imagined but the rewards are wonderful. I would never trade all the tears, lonely days, sleepless night or anything I went through because all that and my hard work and the great heart of my H and my second chance at this, paid off.

Friends, don't get slack either. When things seem to start to be getting better, or going right, that is not an invitation to "I don't have to work as hard anymore". In fact, that is when you work HARDER! You never stop working on yourself or the marriage. Sometimes when people get what they want, or win their spouse back and the marriage seems stable, they forget what it took to get there and slack off. Don't do it. Don't ever make your spouse second to ANYONE ever again.

Marriage is DAILY work, just like a job but its the best work there is. By working on it you are only making it better, stronger and solid.

Be respectful of your spouse, thier needs and the marriage but also be respectful of what you need and want and speak up when you need to. Don't expect your spouse to know what you are feeling. None of us is a fortune teller. You need to talk and communicate. If you spouse makes a request. Respect it. Remember being whiney and needy and bothering someone nonstop is UNATTRACTIVE. Be strong and confident.

Treat your spouse like YOU want to be treated.

Go the extra mile or two...or three...or four.

Whatever it takes. You are together for a reason. God put you together. Be strong, pray, work hard and keep it together.

Come here to this wonderful site for support and help. Read what you can. Work on YOU. When you feel good about YOU, you can feel good about others. When you respect YOURSELF, you can respect others. Only when you finally love yourself can you love others. Don't beat yourself up for past mistakes. That serves NO purpose. What is done, is done. Just fix it and move on. Learn from it and make your goal to be the best YOU on earth.

There is nothing that any of us cannot do.

I will touch base again with you one day.

Thank you for all the support. There is really no way I can ever thank any of you enough for all you have helped me with.

Recovery is not easy my friends but then when you think about it, nothing good ever came easy.

God Bless each of you.
Zoey

ZachandZoey@yahoo.com