Should WS asking for forgiveness expect to stay in marriage? Can BS forgive and still seek divorce?
I mean, you can forgive someone and still not want them in your life right? or wrong?

I would say so. Forgiveness is as much for the one who is forgiving as for the one who is forgiven. You may forgive the person, and never forgive the act.

While the WS may want to continue the marriage, asking for and receiving forgiveness doesn't mean that their wish will be granted.

Some marriages should survive, some shouldn't. There are some situation where the best thing to do is to go different paths and make new lives apart from each other. Each is individual and what is best must be decided for your own situation.

Good Luck wherever your healing path takes you.

What if there are kids involved?

While it's best if a child can grow up in a two parent LOVING home, that may or may not be possible. You can do your best, try your d*mnest...and still a house might never be a home.

I've gone both routes in my life. I was married once for almost nine years. Had two beautiful young Ds and there came a point, where if I had continued in the marriage, their life would have been continually in an uproar over his betrayals, emotional and physical abuse. So...I left.

My second marriage has lasted for almost 24 years now, we suffered and dealt with his betrayal in the 21st year of this marriage. True, our children were mostly grown by then, only one still at home and his almost an adult in all ways. But, when this happened, it scared him that HIS family wouldn't be able to survive.

The difference is that this time around, I knew that the man I married, I still loved and that he loved me. It wasn't a pattern, it was a dark time in his life. Together we could overcome.

So...children are so very important, and their needs should always be taken into consideration...but...they need peace, security and love...rather from two parents who live in the same house with love, or two parents with different homes.

A divorce is between adults, you don't have to "divorce"/emotionally or physical abandon your children. Those who do...lose out on the best thing that God/or life has to give to us. jmho

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by moving4word:
<strong>Should WS asking for forgiveness expect to stay in marriage? Can BS forgive and still seek divorce?
I mean, you can forgive someone and still not want them in your life right? or wrong?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">moving,

If you are asking about a Christian perspective, you are right. You have to forgive those who A) ask and B) who are repentent {have changed their ways} however, that does not mean you have to continue in the marriage. Forgiveness does NOT = continue marriage, they are 2 entirely different things. And sometimes it is not best for all concerned to continue the marriage for whatever reasons.

Thank you for the replies ladies.I will think long on this.