Hi. I snuck into my h's private e-mail and sent a g'bye note to the ow. She immediately called to ask if he REALLY sent it. He says it would violate "no contact", I say how can I be sure HE wants it over, if HE won't say it? I feel very, highly uncomfortable having it be my words and not his. I'm concerned it will come back as I ruin his relationships outside marriage. I wanted it to end in 2/02, when I found out. I expected it to end 6-02 when she move to AL. He's never given her any indication he wanted it to end. I've intercepted his notes saying "I love you with all my heart" "Your the best" always signed "love, his name". H is at home now, and I am very uncomfortable about his going back to work and it resuming in the privacy of his office communications. I feel very uncertain and uncomfortable. Please help! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Amelia, it wasn't ok for you to send the NC letter and it has blown up in your face. It is a major lovebuster. The NC has to come willingly from the WH as a show of his committment to rebuilding the marriage. You can't do that for him. This has only brought them closer together.

I am very surprised, though, that the OW had the nerve to call your house and speak to your H. That is a boundary that should not be crossed, IMO.

Have you read all the material on this website about Plan A? I think your WH is apparently still in the throes of an active affair, as witnessed by the emails you saw. I would suggest moving to Plan A but setting down boundaries about OW calling your home.