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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 933
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Joined: Nov 2002
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Since D-day, I have been wavering about the cat that my wife and I got a year ago. My first instinct was to tell her to take the cat, mostly because she was the reason I bought it. However, with her moving out soon, I am starting to think I'd like to keep the cat. I don't think I'd meet with a lot of resistance there, as I think she'd just want what was best for the cat, and this is the home it's always known.
I've come to really like the cat, and, while she took care of it mostly, I feel that's something I could pick up on. Cats are pretty low maintenance anyway. And considering she's got an OM in her life and I'm going solo in this big house all by myself, I think I'd enjoy having the cat's company during this tough time. And maybe my WW would miss the cat as well.
I realize I wouldn't want my WW back because she missed a cat and not me, but who knows, maybe the combination of the two and the reality of being alone would hit home better once she is on her own without me, and without her cat. I'm not keeping the cat as a "punishment" for her or anything, I love the cat, but I also love my W more of course, and maybe that would help her out of the fog.
Thoughts on this one?
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
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Hey Just had to respond to your post. We have a family dog (you know, when the kids leave home the parents are "stuck" with it) and since my H separated, I have been in the house with the "wonderful" dog. Hubby has said he missed the dog but can't have pets at his apt. While I am the one who has to clean up after her (older dog = some accidents) and wake up early/rush home after work to let her out, I also get the benefits of a warm being who gives unconditional love and affection. I'd say keep the cat. You're right, they're low maintenance pets. Maybe it will help your wife get lonely quicker, thus making her see what she's missing by not working on your M. And it will certainly give you something else to focus on.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,516
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If you'd like to keep the cat, and your W doesn't fight you on this...keep it. If your W does fight...let her have it...and get another pet for yourself. They can make a house more of a home by their love and warmth when you walk in the door.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,755
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I agree , keep the cat, unless wife pitches fit and really wants it... don't lb... ask nicely if you can keep the cat b/c of the home and her familiarity with it? Suggest that the cat might keep you company alone... - that way you show her you will be lonely, but don't have to come out and say it.. is her leaving... of course she knows.
But if it was a gift to wife, and she wants HER cat.. let her take her... see plan a, no lb's. You are doing good for her...
Get another pet if she wants to take cat. Another cat, then if she comes home, cat will have a friend?
I got a cat when ws moved out. We already had a dog, but the cat has been a comfort to me and my boys. Ws claimed allergies, although he grew up in a house of lots of cats and dogs... and he had given me a cat early in our marriage which we lost due to moves, etc. >.. but he wouldn't let me get one recently and when he left, we did.
Cat has caused some grief with clean up and such, as I moved the litter box and he still had the smell in a room with wood floors, boo hoo, this is still costing me,... I am not done yet with floor replacement... eventually I got a cat door, and now he stays in the garage.. a lot where my cat door goes to and that is where litter box resides.. I could not stand it in the house... !
Anyway, enough of that... yuck! But pets are loving and kind and warm.... they always love us... all we have to do is feed them and give a little care, and they don't argue back! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
My advice, no lb's!!!
Hugs, HONEY
I
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 191
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Animals provide such love and comfort...and they do sense when people need it the most...I vote that you keep Kitty. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
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I also vote to keep the kitty-baby.
My ex and I adopted 3 Siamese (2 Chocs, 1 Lilac) as kittens. My H LOVES Siamese, and I love all animals. When ex-H left he constantly wanted to know how OUR kitties were.
That kitty will be good company for you in that big 'ole house. My 3 are wonderful in my 3 bdrm home, altho they are so athletic they keep me quite busy ... as a gang they climb on and investigate everything.
Whenever I get sad or cry, all 3 kitties are right there. It's too sweet. Plus, it's so nice to have those three little bed warmers.
Lv, Jo
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Joined: Sep 2000
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You still have that bloody doggie??? I thought you adopted it out .... ughhhh
Jo
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Joined: Aug 2002
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LOSTSOUL I wouldn't give a nofalt/the only divorce to go with is ADULTY.and if you live in nouth carolina and have the money fine AN ALienation of affection againt him I'm mean I know But it mite make her think about what she realy wants and I have changed my locks before for safty reasons ,before! you be cool and wait at least she moving out to expore this so you don't have to see it every day.If my wife had (we had a rule to move out if we had to explore any one?and she didn't) we would be better off I think (tell two people you love and lying to one but which one.go to church or something that can't be misscoscrewed(I don't know how its spelled) be slow .AND take care of the cat.IT likes you.I'll pray <small>[ November 11, 2002, 01:48 AM: Message edited by: 911lastdate ]</small>
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