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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 33
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 33 |
She knew i would be hurt.
I knew she would be hurt.
Her fog my fog.
confusion for both.
How can she say what I've done is worse than what she has done? Statistically speaking 3 to 1 does not equal worse. That's 3 different A's to a ONS.
Yes I know it's not a game of who scores highest.
Yes I was motivated by pain & anger. Wasn't she also angry at me for not meeting her needs?
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How can she say what I've done is worse than what she has done? Statistically speaking 3 to 1 does not equal worse. That's 3 different A's to a ONS.
Yes I know it's not a game of who scores highest.
Yes I was motivated by pain & anger. Wasn't she also angry at me for not meeting her needs</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">IMNSHO all 3A's and ONS are equally bad because they were all products of selfishness.
Maybe what she is trying to convey to you is that her A's were not out of some need of hers to punish you, like your ONS was. What she doesn't seem to grasp is that her A's devastated your self esteem as a man and left you with a strong urge to have another woman validate you as a man.
Playing the blame game is going to get both of you nowhere except maybe divorced.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,516
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,516 |
It's a waste of time and energy trying to divide the blame or assign "more" fault for what "you" did then what "I" did. If betrayals happened on both sides...both sides have been damaged by the other.
It's nice that you know what your motivation was, I wonder if you know what her's was. Since I'm not clear as to who did what to whom when...can't answer your last question. And I'm not for sure it matters.
If you want your marriage to go forward, always looking over your shoulders to see what has happened in the past will blind you to the horizon. jmho
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
moving4wordYou might want to read <a href="http://www.stopyourdivorce.com/sample7.htm" target="_blank">Stop Coming To Your Own Defense -- and Watch Your Mate Do It For You... </a>
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