Well I visited my WW at work today. I was able to talk with her for about 2 hours. I think I made some progress. I told he that I had down some research and foun out what had happaned in our M. I told her how I would change and show her the affection she needed and be more understanding. I bought he som flowers and a card. I thnk things really went well but she said it may be too late. I think the fog is still too thick. I called her later to see if she wanted to see our daughter tonite and OM was there. she was a diffrent person. OM is mad at her fo still talking to me. I found that kinda ironic.I think she told OM all the things I said and he is not liking it. Should I continue showing support and telling her I wantto make it work and I can change or has she heard it all and must make up her own mind?

wrngler

You might want to read the following from Five Things You Can Start Doing Right Away To Turn The Tide In Your Favor...:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lots of times men tell their wives, “I’ve changed. I’ve changed. Let’s get back together. I’ve changed.”

I tell the husbands that “Every time you say, ‘I’ve changed,’ you’re communicating to her that you have not changed.”

“Really? Why is that? How is that? I don’t understand that.”

“Of course, you don’t understand. But what’s your motivation? Why are you telling him or her how you’ve changed? What’s your purpose? Isn’t it to get your way?”

“Yeah, I want her back.”

“That’s your way. It’s not her way, right now. She said she may consider it later, maybe, but not right now. And every time you say, ‘I’ve changed,’ you’re saying, ‘Give me my way! Give me my way! Give me my way! What I want is more important than what you want. I don’t give a hoot what you want.”

And subconsciously, she says, “He hasn’t changed. He’s still the neurotic, selfish, pressuring guy he always was. There’s no way I’m going to go back to him, or feel positive to him as long as he is this way.”</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Keep posting and God bless.

Would have to agree 100% with TMCM. Do not tell her you've changed. Show her you've changed. In order to do that though, you have to actually make the changes.

Take Care

HW (Formerly TORO)

I agree with the rest...don't tell her...but do continue to SHOW her. Remember, you are just as much a threat to her relationship with this OM as he was to your marriage with her.

Who do you want to be doing the LB...him or you? Make it SAFE to come home. Make it desirable.