My WW is coming over today to get more of her stuff. I have started pln A and I'm trying to show her that I can change and that I am changing. I want her to stay awhile but she is so stand offish. She doesn't want to talk to me much or see me much, but she says I'm still her best friend. I get so mad because she is so careful not to make OM angry and I 'm thinking what about me? I feel hopeless because she is living with OM. I think she feels sorry for him. He is actually pretty ugly and a piece of trash. He won't have a job after today and his ex wife is serving him with divorce papers. I know all this because the OM works for my family's business. I just wish the fog would go away.

This is such a new hurt for you...I am so sorry. But, the good news is that the "fog" may well lift soon. Part of being able to stay in that lovely "fog" is that you don't have to deal with the daily grind. You don't have to worry about the bills being paid, if the bed is made, if you've got food in the fridge or the clothes washed.

While I am sure that her living arrangements has caused you much pain, it's a quick dose of reality. It's seeing the other person at their worse. It's finding out all about those little things that can get under our skin. It's discovering that he doesn't put the seat down. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It's discovering that he doesn't pick up his dirty clothes. It's finding out that he's got feet of clay...just like all the rest of us. AND...he's discovering that your W isn't all perfect, exciting, fun to be with, forbidden any more.

Now...she's lying to him...not you. That's always a good sign. jmho

Wrnglr,

U have been here since 2001? How familar are you with MB concepts and what have you read?

I am sorry you are in this situation but you need to make sure you and your daughter are in a safe place, emotionally, financially, physically and mentally. Your daughter is young but children still feel the effects of the A.

Remember this, the nicer you are the more pain it causes the A. The OM does not want you to be nice. He needs to feed off your anger. Remember that. Especially if the OM is way way less than you are.

take care,
L.

<small>[ November 11, 2002, 01:56 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>