Hello MB members:

I have previously posted about me and my husband are having marital problems. In case the others who read this post aren't aware of what I wrote about, I am posting about how I feel that my husband is trying to smash a relationship about. I felt that he was seeing some other woman behind my back because of a letter that couldn't hurt a fly. Here is some of the overview from the previous post to give you an idea of what is happening:

I wrote this letter way back in January to a friend of mines, I was writing how touchy my H- to-be was and how I understood that it was a big day coming up and that is an usual thing. So I had nothing against my husband at all. Thursday night I saw him pick it and try to read it while I was driving and I took it from him (not in a aggressive manner). When I got home I put the envelope on the dining room table. It was blank-looking and very innocent. The letter wasn't final yet because I did not seal it or stamp it to mailed yet. This letter was to a close friend that I have known for 15 years. Two days later, on a Saturday morning the letter wasn't on the table where is should've been two nights prior. And I certainly didn't move it. I was looking for that letter I asked my husband could he help me look for that letter, because he usually helps me look for things that could've been 'misplaced' or something. But this time he acted like he did not want to help me. I asked him, has he taken that letter and read it or something? And he responded, "Are you trying to get me to confess something that I did not do?"
He has been getting touchy over the stupidest things in history. We have been falling out and everything. I felt that he found a letter
that I have written to a close friend and hid it from me. The reason why is
because I wrote a letter to a friend and said that me and him have
been getting emotional lately and he has been touchy over nothing. And he has misinterpreted what I was really saying.
I have noticed the way he has been acting every since that letter
disappeared. He would withdraw from me a lot and he was less affectionate. Then when I ask him about him having the letter. Well it was 3 weeks to a month after I was looking for that letter, I found it in one of his
business binders, hidden behind a bunch of papers. It was usually a
binder that he takes to work and he accidently left in my car. So I
found the letter opened and everything -- obviously, he took his 15-
20 "minutes of fame" and read it. And so I came up front with him about it. He would explode and say things like,"Alright I did it! You're calling me a damn liar. I read it alright?! You won't stop will you?! You make me sick! And all of the other things you 'claim' I did -- I did it!" BTW that is his way of trying to make someone look like it is something wrong with the other person.
Every since I found out that he read that letter he has:

1. been coming home from work real late
often.

2. Displayed lack of affection

3. Not acknowledging the sweet things I did for
him

4. Been very secretive

5. Being very insensitive to my feelings

6. Make it look like I want to "smash" the
marriage

7. Hinting that he shouldn't have married me in
the first place

8. Finding ways to get rid of me and replace me
with the woman he was cheating with

9. Calling me names

10. Been a tight wad on money more than before

These are the signs that I have seen from him since he denied about that letter, and it is a shame that he is still denying it today.

Well I have found a letter from his ex-wife while I was cleaning the house. I just seemed to run across it and something told me that I should read it to see what kind of husband I am dealing with. It goes like this:

Dear Ron:

I got your letter last week, but I was gone for five days;
and this is the first oppotunity I've had to answer it.
You say you want an answer for the five things you listed
in your letter.

1. You and I both know it is not true, just convienent for
you to say that I tried to stop from coming home. I'm not
stupid! I know, and have known from the beginning that if
you had wanted to be home, you could have contacted the
doctor on your own. You want everybody to think that when
you are here, you take such care of me that I don't need
anyone else's help. The last time I came home from the
hospital with 258 stitches in my chest, I had people like
Friend #1, 2, & 3 bringing me
breakfast, lunch, and dinner because you didn't because
you didn't even come in the room for three days! You never
gave me a drink of water, food, or even medication for the
pain! When I need help, I go to a source that I know will
provide it. And you like to run around like nothing is
wrong with me.

2. You seem to think that as long as nobody but me you and
you know what you are doing, it is your word against mine.
That is not the case, and that is how this whole mess got
started, anyway. Someone at the bank, and I know you will
figure out who, called the Post Chaplain regarding the
bank account. Because the bank wanted to take what was
overdrafted in the joint account out of my account. And,
she knew I didn't write checks out of the account. This
person is also very good friends of Linda Bradberry. The
Chaplain spoke with (4) of my friends before he ever
called me. When he called me, he already knew about such
as:

1. You stealing my sewing machine.
2. Your not helping me when I come home from the hospital
3. Exactly how much money you gave me per month, and the
fact that I did not spend a dime more
4. The fact that you take my car evertime you get mad,
knowing I can't drive yours (he even checked with First
Sergeant Donaldson about it).
5. And so many other ridiculous things that I didn't
want else to know about.
6. Right in front of the boys, you walked out with the
telephone, the ironing board, and my iron. You also took
food and whatever else you wanted when you "you ran away
from home."

3. These are some of the things that I had to listen to
when I walked into the Chaplain's office and found out he
already knew before I even opened my mouth. You lied to
the IG IN Korea when you told him I was writing checks on
the joint account and that is why we are having money
problems. What you didn't know Ron, was that the IG at
Fort Lee already had the banking records which show that
few months that I wrote the check for the the car payment.
It is a proven fact that every dime I spend every month
over $600.00 I make.

4. As far as cashing your royalty check, don't even bother
to tell me that I was wrong for cashing a check for less
than $10.00 when you hadn't sent me any money for FIVE
WEEKS.

5. As far as accusing me of cussing you out, you and I
both know better and you don't stand a chance for getting
anybody to beleive a lie like that.

6. Stating I sicced the Army on you, is just another way
of yours to try to make me think that everything is all my
fault. First of all, the Chaplain called me, I didn't call
him. Maybe you don't understand what friendship is because
you don't have a friend, but I have many. And one of them
went to the Chaplain's office and told everything. Who it
doesn't matter, because she left names for the Chaplain's
to call friends of mine for verification; and by the time
that I or the IG was called, he almost knew everything
without even talking to me. And just to show how bad it
is, Ron, one of them went into great detail about how you
would take my car and left me stranded deliberately. You
can't say that you don't know that I can't drive your car,
because that fact was verified by Dr. Personious. The IG
took a personal interest in that, because a member of his
family died of cancer. That is what you are up against,
not me. And he is the one that is fighting.

7. They know that your own car is not running because
there is wrong with the starter. They also know that I
can't afford to fix it. So they are paying to get your car
fixed so it will be ready when you get here. It is
already a proven fact that my car is a medical necessity
and not a luxury item. Sitting in his office, the comment
was made to me that "I'm getting his car fixed so there is
not absolute reason for him to take yours." It is
ridiculous that emergency funds are being used for
something for this. I am not even going to try to stop
you from taking it, but don't expect me to not say
anything about it if you do. It is the kind of stuff that
makes the whole relationship worth nothing. You can't
come up with one time that I stooped low enough to start
stealing stuff of yours or taking things back. I am not
that childish.

8. You claim that I am stubborn and hardheaded, but you
can't come up with anything I've done. I don't run around
the house and not speak to you. I've never known you were
sick and didn't take care of you. I've never left you
stranded. And above all, I have never, ever, ever, told
anyone a deliberate lie on you to make myself look good,
or try to make people think that everything is all your
fault.

9. I'm the one who sat in the chaplain's office with
several other people there, when he told me that Bessie
Selleway told him that you told her, "I wish she either
get well, or hurry up and die!" When he asked me if you
said it, I didn't lie. I told the truth about everything.

10. As far as you only sending me $420.00 a month, I
haven't paid a medical bill since June. And because I can
prove that you don't give me enough money to pay them
anymore, the bills will start coming to you, directly,
because you are the responsible party. For the last three
years, I've worked half the night while you were sleep -
to try to pay these medical bills. No more! You want to
play games, you can pay the medical bills. I just spent
five days in the hospital, and I am not foregoing any
medical treatment, at all for this kind of foolishness. I
didn't mind at all goingo to the Finance Office at MCV and
telling them exactly what is going on. You won't be able
to play games with the medical bills and MCV Hospital.
They know how to get their money.

11. As far as as your letter stating, I'm out of control
and you want to stop my check cashing priveledges, I'm
giving that letter to the IG because there is plenty of
proof that you're the one who does not know how to manage
money or a checkbook. I wouldn't have said one word if you
didn't lie on me. My banking records show just opposite.

So many things have gone wrong that you nobody knows about
them, and your attitude is that "as long nodoby knows, you
didn't do anything." I don't don't have to say anything.
Everybody else is talking now. And you say it is my move,
the last thing I heard before I walked out of the office
was "we'll see what he does when he gets back."

Your wife,

X______________________________

I wanted to know if my post as well as this letter correlates him mistreating me as a wife as well?