WOW.......
What did you guys do to Relate? I was just starting to like her too. Boy, I miss all the fun! Was there a goin away party? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

She did give me a nice eamil though and a post on a thread:"Hey, I don't think it is over at all. Just that she will come forward the more reticent you are, and the more you pull back and leave her alone. Sort of like plan A from a distance. Good luck!" Relate
(had to look up the word "reticent"AA
But she is right.

Anyway, I have not spoken or had e-mail with wife since last Thursday. Relate...if your viewing this from a far away island....pay up! I won the bet!

I feel good and realize I am going to live my life. If she wants to join me she knows I care and she is welcome to come along. If not then goodluck and I'll find someone who I can share my life and love with.

I did feel good though. My cousins wife talked to her over a week ago (I never told her to go see my wife..they are friends) and she and my cousin had gotten to this point. She told wife their story. My wife told her that "maybe she is being selfish?" Whatever that means. She also told my cousins wife that her family does not believe in divorce. Family are catholics. Remember my wife did have a talk with priest. I hear she is still going to church every week. Same parish where priest is. The priest told her that he sees my changes and that he feels I sincerely love her. She told priest "that is the same thing my grandparents tell me." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I still feel I am in this game. I will still help her out financially. If I'm a fool then I'm a fool. At least I'll feel better after this is over. I can't wait to talk to her next time....she will be calling soon. She will wonder why I haven't contacted her. I am going to be so upbeat......she's not going to even know what to think! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

She still won't communicate with me about visitation. Nothing new from her attorney. I just wonder if she can't afford to pay him.

Daycare provider's husband doesn't want me picking up my daughter at their house, because he is jelous of a man coming to his house when he isn't there! Weird. I told my wife in an email last week, but no word about anything. I wanted to pick my daughter up one night during the week so I can spend more time with her and give my wife a little break. Now daycare provider wants to know if I can find someone to be the go-between. She's in another town, so hard to do. I already have to do that with getting my daughter from my wife. I can't do it with someone else too!!!!

WHEN'S THE MADNESS END!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Is there a PLAN B in the works for me soon?
Thanksgiving is sure gonna suck without my wife. First one in 7 years we'll be apart!

<small>[ November 12, 2002, 08:03 PM: Message edited by: AlanArthur ]</small>

When do you know if the time is right to ask your W for a simple date? Do you just have a feeling or is there set rules? Our D will be final at end of Dec. , but either I'm just naive or what, but she has shown signs in the past that she may want to work on things. Or maybe she does this to use me........I don't know!

Hi Alan.

Just curious and would like to know what are you implementing from Homer McDonald's 'stop your divorce' e-book?

Well I read that book in August. Good info.......same things you guys are telling me on here. Leave her alone...change myself...no pressure etc. Back off and let her come to me. Agree with everything she says......wave the white flag, but be upbeat and happy.

I don't know about his.....make her jelous and date. I've heard of this working, but I don't think would work for me since I had an EA over a year ago and that is a factor as to why we are to this point.

bump---slow night around here

Even though you are in plan A, your D needs her father and these crazy daycare people are sabotaging your contact with your D. Contact your attorney ASAP and explain the situation, so that s/he may send them a letter to either comply with your right to pick up your daughter or face the possibility of being dragged to court for obstructing your right to pick her up at the designated time and place. If your W contacts you and blasts you for doing this, agree with her and just say that your sorry but that since she didn't contact you, you had no choice but to do what you did. This hopefully will get her to start acting more like an adult when it comes to your D's best interests instead of acting like a resentful little girl.

Your right! I am going to start sticking up for myself. Isn't the daycare the weirdest thing? It seems like they all want to make things more difficult than they have to. Why?

I will contact my attorney tomarrow. My daughters interest comes before anyone elses and she needs her father. Thanks Too Much.

When would I possibly ask my wife for a date?

AlanArthur,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>When would I possibly ask my wife for a date?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't even think about it !. You are 5 stpes ahead where she is right now. When ?. Until she is talking about working on M !.

-rh-

Hi AA,

I'mmmmmmmmmm BACKKKKKKKKKK again toooooooo!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

take care
bb

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by redhat:
<strong>AlanArthur,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>When would I possibly ask my wife for a date?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't even think about it !. You are 5 stpes ahead where she is right now. When ?. Until she is talking about working on M !.

-rh-</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ditto.

BB!!!! YEA!!!!!

Alan...slooooow down. How about just being alone without wife and without dating for a while? Prove to her you can just WAIT. And use the time to work on yourself.

I think the dating someone else to make your spouse jealous bit is totally horrible. Unless the other person you go out with is in on it, it sets them up for disappointment and pain at being used!! Plus it COULD put them in the middle of a bunch of crap they didn't sign up for. Then add to that the fact that it's GAME PLAYING and doesn't really get you back a healed and healthy partner, but a needy and desperate one.

You're all right. I am getting cart ahead of horse. No mention of date until W gives some indication of working on M and then I would just love to sit down and talk. The dating thing is a bad idea in my case with EA and everything. It would just validate that what she is doing is the right thing. I'll just be patient and take my time. She will come to me for some reason to check up on me.

Again: Who has Relate.....gagged in their closet? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Make sure you feed her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

AA,
something just exploded in my closet!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm not going to bother with that any more!!!!!!!!

take care
bb

LMAO! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />