Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 420
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 420 |
My wife dropped a bomb a couple of nights ago: Since I am spending Thanksgiving with my child, her OM paid her airfare so she can come spend the weekend with him. She will stay at a friend's house.
I went nuts (not upset). I've done nothing but commit LB's since then as late as a moment ago.
Here's what I've figured out:
Mentally, I am the strongest one
Emotionally, my W is the strongest one
And we are using this to hurt each other. So, how do I become strong emotionally so I can control my actions better and do a better Plan A/B?
I told her I am tired of helping her out anyway I can and she continues to hurt me and manipulate me and that I was stopping that. I said that my focus now was meeting my S needs and my needs but not hers. I know this goes against Plan A but I think I've reached my limit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 420
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 420 |
I talked to my W this afternoon and I did plenty of Plan A. I was able to express how I feel w/o doing any LB's. To me, the success of this talk was that I made some points to her that left her thinking as she did not have an answer for them. For instance, she claims I never loved her but then I gave her some specific instances where I showed my love.
I know I need to be consistent but I'm trying. She told me many times, while crying, she was sorry. One time I asked her what she was sorry for and she said that she's sorry that I'm going through all this that it is not that she feels anything for me except what you feel for somebody going through a hard time.
<small>[ November 14, 2002, 09:09 PM: Message edited by: utterlyconfused ]</small>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 107
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 107 |
I don't really know your story, as I generally post on the divorced boards, but just thot I'd suggest maybe it's time for a full blown Plan B.?... If you're not even living in the same city anymore, than that seems to be the obvious choice to me. Anyways, all the best to you, and I will keep you in my prayers.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 816
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 816 |
uc ... how are you doing?
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
330
guests, and
101
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,496
Members71,972
| |
Most Online3,224
Yesterday at 05:02 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
