Now remember........It's only a question!!

Should I send my W's grandparents a Thanksgiving card...we are close.

Should I send my W's mother one?
I have not spoken to her since separation. Would this be a nice thing or do you think my w would think something else? Will this show my sincerity or not? It would still be a week from now and W and I have had over a week of no contact now or would the cards just wreck what we have going on now?

Just a question....no need for 2x4's. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Also...after Thanksgiving I want to buy my daughter a real Xmas tree this year! Should I or will this hurt things with W and Plan A?

You might want to consider posing these questions to your W to avoid any misunderstandings that could become love busters from her point of view. At worst, she'll just ignore you, and at best, she might say yes and appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Good luck and God bless.

Sure, send the card if it is something you would normally do (meaaning don't look as if you are sucking up to them.)

I say do not ask her (you are trying to give her space remember) but I would send it if I was something you normally do...(agree with Chris on that one).
As for the tree, she is your daughter so I would suggest you decorate your place for christmas. It's the most special of times for kids. If that means buying a tree and decorating it at your house, then by all means, do it for your daughter. Your wife shouldn't even be a consideration on that.

I think you should do nothing right now except have an idea of what you are going to say when she calls you.. Just hold the line here for awhile....

She KNOWS how long it has been since you called.... Trust me on that one.... If you just leave her alone like you have been, she is going to contact you...

Of course , she will have a reason (excuse) to make it sound as though it is important, and not that she could possibly miss you.... That is when you act happy and upbeat, short and sweet... Hang up first, and don't talk long.....

How can you not believe that she won't miss you at some point and wonder what is going on? You are going to be able to give her a call at some point, but not now... Take off the pressure.. You have started to, but it isn't off ALL the way yet...(get it?) She will contact you.. You are her first real love aren't you? I think she will be back if you handle this correctly...... good luck....

Please remember that women are attracted to certain things in men.... Think about it... Confidence, being a happy person, self respect... So, if that is what attracts them (and it does!!!), then our answer is to bring out these traits in ourselves, and they start to FEEL different about us...

You are doing fine.... I have noticed that you have
found a lot more confidence lately and this will pay off....

Thanks MBr's

You are right.......I will not send cards for Thanksgiving as this is not like me. She would take it wrong. She is probably surprised I haven't contacted her mother yet.

I did ask my w a few weeks ago (stupid thing to ask) whether she really missed me or not. It seems like she doesn't. She didn't say yes or no. She said well "at the end I didn't look forward to you coming home at night." I'm sure that is true, because I was looking for answers to all the things I was finding out.

I have a feeling she will contact me about something else because she will miss me. We have been together 7 years and talked every day, so I would assume she will miss me if not already.

I will get a tree for my place, but I really want to surprise them with a tree. I think this will be touching to my wife, especially if I have made no contact by the end of November.

My (WAW) thinks my D will be ok with this "it's better for her" HOGWASH! Now my daughter won't even talk to me on the phone when I call her daycare <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I sure miss them, but I do feel stronger. I do find myself sometimes wondering what my W is doing on a Friday /Sat. night, but I realize I have no control over that and she is a grown woman. Right or wrong she has to answer for it.

Boy, if things miraculously turn around I promise her and God a much better marriage. One we will both be proud of. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ November 15, 2002, 08:57 PM: Message edited by: AlanArthur ]</small>