Hi Orchid,
Just wanted to update you on what has been going on with me lately. Well for one I am still here. On Sept. 30th, if you remember he said I should stay. After that I found out I had to have a hysterectomy. I had that on Nov.4th. I am feeling better now. Still have concerns about it, but who wouldn't. When he decided I should stay, I promised him that I would quit smoking. Since I have had the surgery I haven't been able to quit. Now two weeks after the surgery, the subject has come back up. He says that I have to quit for us to stay together because he doesn't want to see me with all the health problems that it causes and I have already had a few. This seems so demanding to me although I am trying to understand. Why end your marriage over smoking? Anyway I am going to do my best to quit now. I did not mean to break my promise, but the surgery came up so suddenly. He has been really good to me through all of this, so I know he really cares for me. Just wanted to talk to you about it. Thanks

GTF,

Good to hear from you. Glad to hear you made it through the surgery ok. I apologize for not keeping up with you.

As for your smoking, well if you want my opinion, yes your healthi is important and maybe just maybe seeing your health suffer is more than he can bear. This is good and can be a motivator for you. Ask your doctor for help and supplement it with herbal remedies to help you STOP the cravings.

If you are also on hormonal treatments, that may have an effect also. Your body may be fighting battles on several levels and make it hard. Once you are over the immediate hump of the addiction and your body's adjustment to the surgery, it might be easier..... check with your doctor.

If he is treating you better, that is good. Do you feel like there has been progress that you can work with? Sometimes recovery makes the BS get antsy and a bit needy.

Please keep in touch.

take care,
L.