I'm practically a newlywed (not even a year) and I can't understand my husband's behavior. Everyone tells me that there is something going on with this other woman...he just says that they are friends...good friends. She works for him...they've known eachother for less than a year and they are like peas and carrots. She calls on weekends to see what he is doing...she is married as well..yet we have never met her husband...although I hear nothing but negative things about him from her. I work with my husband, too. To add to the mystery of all of this, my husband gets so angry with me about little issues. For instance, the latest is that I was asked to make sure that his suit was ready to wear for my friend's father's visitation at a funeral home. I could've sworn that it was (the pants were)...so I didn't check. I told him that it was ready. Well, we were getting ready for the visitation the next day and his suit was not freshly drycleaned. I did have a few wrinkles in it..which I offered to iron out...but instead he said that he wasn't going. He was extremely angry...I said that I really thought that it was ready...I told him that he was being ridiculous and that I really wanted him to go still. I told him that a nice shirt and slacks would be fine. He stormed out of here and didn't talk to me for days. Finally, yesterday, I cried and cried and said that I couldn't stand not talking anymore. (I did give him a card the day before...he said nothing of it and still slept on the couch for the 3rd night in a row). He said that my behavior needed to change...that I did something very inconsiderate by not double checking that his suit was done so that he could go to the visitation with me as he planned his schedule aroound. I said that I was truly sorry...and in doing so....I just got the feeling like this whold thing was way for him to stay mad at me. We did sleep together last night after all of that...it took 4 days and plenty of tears to change the air in this house. I just feel so tired and alone...and I feel like my heart doesn't want to believe what my mind is telling me...and I know that he would never admit if he was in love with this other woman. Anyway...have I bored you enough? I just wish I knew what was going on. I'm 31 going on 80...no kids...and my (what I thought was) wonderful marriage is turning into something that is making me feel nervous, sick, and so very tired. What do you think?

Dear S&T:
You are in the right place. If you haven't read EVERYTHING on this website yet - do it now. There is soooo much information it is mind boggling. I am a junior member like you and am not going to give you advice but some words of wisdom. I wish I had cared enough and taken the time to find this place BEFORE the A happened. Our communication broke down and I was WAY TOO busy with kids, meetings, etc to really notice behavior. I think this website could help you before something bad happens. If something bad has happened, it will help you with that too. Hang in there as there are oodles of helpful, insightful, knowledgable people waiting to help you....
Good luck
DB

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Lost Heart,

What a sad story! I don't really know how to counsel you either except to reiterate to read everything you can! and to LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS! If you think there is something going on, confront him. If nothing else, I've learnt from my situation to trust my gut, and that communication is #1! If you confront him very openly, and he gets extremely defensive/angry, IMHO that is a DEFINITE sign that something is amiss. Take a deep breath, and think clearly. Act and speak in calmness, not in anger. And INSIST on open and honest communication. Maybe you'll need to see a counsellor for you both to feel safe. Just try to stay sane, and calm, and focused. I'll pray for you and keep us posted. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Yikes girl! Even if he isn't having an A, his outrage at a pair of pants having a couple of wrinkles and his subsequent punishment of you by not talking to you indicates a serious need of an attitude adjustment. My hubby is lucky if his clothes are WASHED and even luckier if they're folded!

If that type of behaviour seems out of the norm for him, then guilt may just be eating away at him. If I were you I'd do some snooping and see if you can't find proof to your suspicians.