Dear Les:
WOW! When I started this post it was just a venting thing and I was glad to have a place to vent. I don't think I hate the OP as much as you. When I say HATE I mean disappointed, dissillusioned and have no use for in life. I realize HATE is a very strong emotion and I really think I'll feel that for awhile but I am determined to move on. I really am hoping the same for you. Maybe someday.....
DB

It depends on the OP! lol...

In our case, my S doesn't despise the OPs. She really tends to see them as non-persons. I'm the failure in this deal.

For me, I see two of her OPs with a certain amount of venom, one with a touch of sadness and another with... I'm not sure what.

Point is, it varies. Most recent OM was the most siginificant in that she almost left me for him. She was using the others. Not him.

But when the hate set in with me, he started to unravel in his own mind. What I hate is how he thinks. He doesn't regret his actions, meaning this "friend" of mine hasn't grasped the reality of what he did. Yes, my S had the A, but I've chosen to make a life with her and must accept that. This person willingly bedded a married woman, even if she was asking for it, and failed to take into account my children, me and our marriage. This person who ate Thanksgiving dinner with us last year and played with my kids had fooled himself to believing what he was doing was right.

Do I hate him? No. But, I won't cry at his funeral.

My father had an A. 20 years later, he got a call that his former lover had died of cancer. He told my mother. My mother's response? "What took her so God-D***ed long?"

20 years is a long time to hate.