back in oct. i gave my husband a pre-plan b letter. layed it all out what i needed and waited. nothing. the last straw came when i found out he lied about some things again. one being his company was trying to transfer the ow back to husbands location. he decided to handle it himself and fight for it not to happen. i am very proud of him for that, however he kept this from me for 2 months and the stress of it damaged our very fragile relationship further. i also found out he lied about being out with his friends. they went to a strip club. he knows this is unacceptable for me and lied for days.

i calmly told him to pack his stuff and get out. he was floored. i think it finally hit him. he was losing everything. we talked for hours, not really getting anywhere. he did make an appt. with dr. harley for tomorrow. i spoke to dr harley yesterday and asked if i was wavering by letting him stay. he thinks i am doing the right thing for now, he will let me know better after he talks to husband. boy does steve have his hands full with my hubby. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

on a brighter note we went to a party on sun. husband was very protective and attentive. his friends(partners in crime as i call them) were all there. i asked steve about this situation, me knowing they are getting lap dances and the wives(my friends) dont know. he thinks i should talk to the husbands. he thinks i should ask them what they think is gonna happen when the wives find out that i knew. they are putting me in a very bad situation. what do you all think?

I think the party's over. Are they encouraging your H to come out w them? Why not tell their wives? You don't owe these guys anything.

dear espoir- yes they do encourage him-they also know nothing about the affair.

at the party on sunday one of these guys asked me point blank if my husband could come out to play. my husband grabbed me in a bear hug, i guess he knew there was a good chance i was gonna castrate his friend with my bare hands!!

his friends dont know that i know everything.(about the lap dances.) i dont want to be the one to tell the wives, and steve agrees, because i wil be nothing but vindictive looking. not that i care what the husbands think, but i do care about the wives. they are friends. im in a bad position.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by nikko:
<strong>my husband grabbed me in a bear hug, i guess he knew there was a good chance i was gonna castrate his friend with my bare hands!!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ROFL nikko! I know that exact feeling <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Regarding the wives, are you sure none of them know? There are some women who prefer to "pretend" they don't know what's going on around them.

I hope things go well when your H talks with Steve. Let us know.

Thanks for the update. Be sure to let us know how your H's meeting with SH went.

I agree, you're in a terrible situation b/c of this "secret" you feel you must keep. I don't see how you could be looking so vindictive, if you were to casually talk to one of the wives, and tell them, "I was so hurt last week. H was out on [enter date here], at the strip club again, much to my chagrin". With any luck, your friend will realize that her H was out with your H that same night, and will figure it out all by herself. Just a thought. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I'm still waiting on word of a place to move into. Many boxes are already packed, and I'm looking forward to getting out of here with my boys. I attended an Al-anon meeting last night, and I'm hoping that I can help myself more by going there regularly. And I have a one on one counselling appt at a local abused women's centre tonight at 6:30pm (for 2 hours! and I know it won't be long enough! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ).

Take care of yourself nikko, and keep on posting whenever you can.

Karen

dear tiny-good to hear from you. how are you. with the loss of my computer i feel so out of it. its good to be back.

glad i could give you a laugh. as far as the wives, i believe they know that their husbands go, but they dont know about the lap dances. the old you can look but dont touch... well they are definately gettin touched!!!

topie-how's the driving?? i just got the bill for our phone call. husband was mystified-who the heck is in london??? i told him a friend, i told him i now have friends everywhere!! the bill was about 1/2 of what steve charges and worth every penny of it!! thanks!

my thoughts and prayers are with you. how are the boys with all this. i know my youngest would have been devastated. hopefully husband will turn around and my son wont have to go through it. im praying for you all-let me know how tonights session goes. i'll keep you informed about hubby and steve. darling hubby is upstairs reading SAA again right now.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by nikko:
topie-how's the driving?? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's getting there. I haven't had too many times out on the road, maybe an hour total since last Thursday? I guess that's not too bad. More driving tonight! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i just got the bill for our phone call. husband was mystified-who the heck is in london??? i told him a friend, i told him i now have friends everywhere!! the bill was about 1/2 of what steve charges and worth every penny of it!! thanks!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OUCH!!! That's what happens when calls are made during the week during regular business hours. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I'll make you a deal... email me with your home phone number, and I'll give you a call one EVENING (after 8pm when the boys are in bed), or on a WEEKEND. What do you say? (other than, "gosh Topie's cheap!" LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ).

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">how are the boys with all this. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The twins don't know what's going to happen. And they're still so young, that I don't talk to them much about it at all. If they know anything, it's that we'll be moving to a new house soon. However, they wouldn't understand what that is, as this place is the only home they've ever known. Eric is doing good with it. Especially since I have so much packing done, which includes some of his toys (like the chalk for his easel). If anything, he's looking forward to the move so he can get all of his stuff back. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> In all honesty, I won't know how they're doing until the move is over and done with. Personally, I don't think they'll be missing 'daddy' too much, as he's not around much anyways (you know all about that one, unfortunately <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ).

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">let me know how tonights session goes.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Shall do! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I have to make a list out of the specific questions on areas I'm looking for help with. I should get my butt in gear and do that right after I'm done with this post, eh? LOL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i'll keep you informed about hubby and steve. darling hubby is upstairs reading SAA again right now.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good...I'm looking forward to hearing what went on. And a double good that your H is reading SAA again. I hope he can get past the A stuff, and right into the how to heal it all parts.

Karen