Hello All
I have read though many posts and am happy to see that I am not the only person going though this. I am sad that I even had a reason to find this site. This is my story to date…My wife and I fell in love while I was on an extended business trip in another country, after many visits we decided to marry and start a life here in the US.

She had an amazing way of looking at things and came from a very supportive family. I could see everything that I wanted to have in my family in her. It took a year of paperwork after we were married before we were together in the US. During that time is where the trouble started. I moved back to my home state and lived with a relative.

They say hind sight is 20/20, I never noticed the signs until it was to late. At this point the relative hated my wife from the start, I think that it was because she was jealous of the way I used to talk about her. Well she put it in her mind to destroy not only my relationship with my wife but also with my family. She was telling me one thing, then telling her hubby another about me. She somehow got one of her friends who were going through a D to make advances towards me. This was the most difficult thing to admit but I was with her on two occasions both times I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway. We have not had contact since.

Just to recap, I was married at the time but my W was not with my as of yet.

The OW and relative were dropping hints to my W from the day that we were together. I was so desperate to cover things up I just tried to avoid the subject. Second major mistake. I was not even man enough to tell her right from the start. Two years later after a lot of gentile conversation on my wives part the truth came out. I felt like it was the biggest cloud that has ever come off of my shoulders. Now 4 months later this is still haunting us.

The biggest part of the problem is the trust that she has for me and it seems that the gentil conversation is over. Every time something comes up she will stay angry for at least 3 days. These are days of hell for me. She will call me at work and as soon as I get home she will go through the entire story as if it happened yesterday. We have a 16-month-old son that is keeping us together right now.

We have good days and very bad days. I guess my question is how do I make up for all of the hurt and pain I have caused her? How do I get through the days of hell? How do I show her complete 1000% honesty when she doesn't believe a single word that I say?

I'm having a bad day too!!!
Actions speak louder than words. You just have to show her. But actually, words are good too. My WH just icq'd me that he loves me. That just helped immensely!
Does she know about this website? She should come here for support as well. What about counseling? I can't give you much advice there because I haven't been there or done that - yet.
Good luck - cheer up - another good day will come soon...
DB

Have you read about Plan A? Meeting EN? Might be a good place to start.

Communication is essential. I have learned many important things here but how to communicate w/o LB'ing is the most difficult to learn...still working on it myself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Ditto DB on actions speak louder than words.