Man, talk about roller coaster rides. I am on one this week. Earlier this week was great now it's awful again. How do you deal with infidelity? I just can't imagine doing that. I can't believe it has happened to me. I don't know how I'll ever trust him again. I try so hard not to LB. Like last night he decided to go hang out with friends even though we had made a "date" for when the kids went to bed. I did not rant and rave but I told him that it would hurt my feelings if he did not come home before I went to bed b/c I really wanted to spend time with him. I cried as soon as he walked out the door. I don't trust him at all and I knew he would not be back until late and of course I was right. I just don't think he cares about me or my feelings no matter what he says. Then this morning I found some papers from work where he was doodling and he calls himself a gigolo. This mentality doesn't give me much faith about his faithfulness. Sometimes I just want to quit and give up. I love him sooo much but sometimes I think I would be better off w/o him even with two small ones. Sorry for the rant. Down again with another slap in the face.

How DO we do it? Good question!!!
Not thinking about it helps. HA HA.
I can't believe that he would not come home after you asked him to. I'm not good at giving advice cuz even though it says I'm a member.... I'm really a Junior Member!
Have you done the questionnaires to know what his ENs are? Keep on Plan Aing. That's all the advice I have..
Oh, Good Luck and consider yourself hugged.....
DB

Stillcrazy4him --

"Where there's smoke, there's fire"

Reading your lines and even between them, I smell smoke. Lines such as "I don't trust him at all" and "doesn't give me much faith about his faithfulness" and "I don't know how I'll ever trust him again" are significant, certainly for you but also for your relationship.

It seems that you're doing all the right things: trying not to LB, not ranting and raving, responding out of commitment and love = all good and important issues. Unfortunately at this stage, this isn't about you, it's about him and his selfishness and inconsideration. Sounds to me like the Fog has rolled in and he's in its cloud.

You don't say specifically what has raised the spectre of infidelity but it's obviously an issue for you. Something's triggered those feelings, those doubts. None of us are ever ready to believe that it's really happening to us and yet that's what these hundreds of hurting souls have in common on this site.

How to cope? Well, this is a good place to begin. Lots of wise and wonderful and empathetic folk here. Incidentally, you never need to apologize for "ranting" here (you weren't at all); that's what we're here for, to listen and feel with you and try to help each other.

Please post again and update us. Hang in--we're all in this together...

Ammon

Dear Stillcrazy4him
Don't despair-I know exactly what a rollercoaster it is but you must hang in there. I read your recent posts and you sounded so upbeat-what did your H say the next day after he let you down about your planned evening? He sounds like he is still in the fog.Has the gigolo comment come up before? Could it be a work joke? Keep your eyes on the horizon and keep Plan A'ing like crazy. And DO look after yourself too as well as your little ones.
Regards,
Deluded