Obviously the "rules" of thumb seem to be different for a WS who takes multiple partners. What are the differences in these people? As a BS who "owns" one , what can you expect? How are they "different"? Can a BS ever expect to get truth, honesty or openess from them?
Some people are sex addicts, WS with multiple partners may be sex addicts and will require extensive counseling, re-programming in order to change this pattern. They are not likely to change just because the spouse wants them to. Or even if they say they want to change, but continue to put themselves in questionable situations with people of the opposite sex--lunches alone, intimate conversations, chat rooms, bars for examples.
Some WS who have had only one OP, may go on to have others. At the one partner point, the BS may not know if it is a "soulmate" thing, a one night stand or exactly what kind of behavior is on the horizon.
If the WS gets counseling, changes behaviors, is accountable, behaves trustworthily, is faithful over a period of months, years the outcome is likely to be more postive for trust, honesty, openess.
My WW had 5 affairs. Four were PA, one she says only verbal & written communication. During one A she met the guy in a bar and on the next meeting went to bed with him. During NONE of these occasions was there any protection used. What do these things suggest?
This suggests she doesn't control herself and indulges in dangerous, unsafe behavior with no thought to her marital commitment or health.
Are WS's who engage in multiple affairs really of a different character make-up than those who only have one or two partners?
Yes, I think so. Having any affair is selfish and hurtful to the BS. Once the extent of that is known, to continue, is for that selfishness & willingness to hurt to be a chosen, aware behavior. Either the WS hasn't learned from their mistakes, or they don't care about the consequences to spouse, family, or reputation.
