Hello everyone,

As I said, I normally post on the Divorcing/Divorced board but I had a question about losing love units that I thought maybe someone here would know the answer to.

How long does it take to deplete one's love bank when you are not spending 15 hours a week together?

What if you are only spending 5 hours a week together - meaning time alone without kids.

I know that my marriage became vunerable because of the almost non-existent amount of time a week we spent together and I was wondering if there was any data or thoughts about how long this sort of thing could go on before one became vunerable to having an affair.

I know that the less amount of time spent together the less time you have meeting each other's five top needs - maybe only 2 or 3 can be met during the week, and even so, how long until one starts to be vunerable to another depositing in your love bank.

Anyone have any bright ideas?

Thanks.

K

<small>[ November 20, 2002, 09:22 PM: Message edited by: God is in Control ]</small>

What a great question GIIC! I'm looking forward to seeing the responses.

IMO, I think there are a lot of variables that need to be considered. For example, how many weeks, months, and years were the minimum 15 hours a week deposited?

Not meaning to make light of your question, because I believe it to be extremely valid, however, I had a possible equation pop into my head (and I'm no mathemetician! LOL). Pass on that idea... I can't think of the right variables to use. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Oh well... that's just the logical part of me trying to make sense of it all.

Any mathematicians out there who could come up with a suitable equation, using weeks? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Karen

Thanks Toppie -

I'm not necessarily looking for a mathematical equation, I'm just wondering how long it takes someone to fall out of love with their spouse and thereby open for an A.

I mean if a couple can't spend alot of time together for a couple of weeks, should they be worried? and spend the 30 hours together to get back on track, or is it not for a month like that or 3 or 6?

Any ideas? K

Hey GIIC ~

I don't think there is a pat answer. I think it depends on whether or not there is alot of LBing going on in addition to the lack of time. It also depends on the individual emotional need. Someone with high needs for spousal attractiveness and financial support, with few big LBs on the part of the spouse, might have a slow drainging bank, as long as said spouse stayed attractive and held down a good job!

But someone who has a high need for conversation and recreational companionship...well, lack of time would effect that more dramactically.

And again, everything is effected by whether or not there is alot of LBs going on.