It's been a VERY busy week for me so far. Well, it's ALWAYS busy around here with 3 boys aged 3 1/2 and under! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> But considering that to be the norm, I've been busy on top of that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Monday night, I attended my first Al-anon meeting. I plan on going regularly, and believe that they will help me to heal myself. I already took back with me, an understanding of why I'm not too much "fun" sometimes, b/c as an adult child of an alcoholic, I was forced to be 'in charge' many times, and 'serious' too. That is a difficult role to be rid of. I'm not sure how long that will take, but acknowledging it as an issue, is an excellent first step.
Tuesday night, I had a one on one counselling session at a local abused women's clinic. I was almost late due to H coming home late from work. He claims he was at work. But I don't believe him. And since there's no proof either way, I'll believe my gut feelings over his words.
Through this session, it was agreed upon that I am indeed being emotionally and financially abused by my H. I only just recently, in the last few weeks, realized the emotional abuse and it's extent, however, I had never considered that there was such a thing as financial abuse! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
This particular agency can help me with a LOT of things. For one, they offer FREE one on one counselling (6 or 7 one hour sessions, spread out every 3 weeks), access to a lawyer for legal advice specifically related to women's issues and family law, and group counselling sessions which take place once a week for 12 weeks, 3 times a year. I can also use them as a reference, which I will be doing btw, to help me in getting on the priority list for housing.
I talked to the "housing access centre" today, and they have received all of the necessary information so far. I am being encouraged to continue to submit as much info as I can, regarding my living situation with H, with the hopes that something will allow my worker to put me on the priority list. You see, like any agency, they have to "draw the line" someplace, and one of those areas is that emotional abuse doesn't get you in, but physical does. Yelling and screaming won't get you in, but death threats (even if just verbal) will. A cheating spouse won't get me in, but my worker is hoping to find some place where it can, b/c of the multiple A's my H has had throughout our R. Bureaucratic B.S. is really what it amounts to, according to my worker. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
And one of the best things, happened today. It was something I did for ME.... I bought myself a small bouquet of flowers. They only cost $3.99 at the grocery store (and keep in mind that's canadian funds! LOL), but they have made my day! I made a comment about them to my H, and how they've made me feel so great. No surprise; he didn't care.
H has taken off again for the evening. He says he's going out for coffee, but doesn't come back for hours (minimum 3 hours later). He left about 1 hour ago, after we were talking about the child support he would be paying. I have been quite calmly explaining to him that I plan on going through the FRO (family responsibility office), as our 3rd party. I do NOT want to rely on him coming by with the money, b/c quite frankly, I believe he'll "forget" to pay it. And going through the FRO is a guaranteed way of protecting myself and the boys.
From what I have researched on it so far, it is necessary to have a court order for child support in order for the FRO to be involved. So I plan on using the free legal counsel to help me out with that one.
And of course, shortly before H left for his "coffee", he said to me, "This is just another way for you to (screw) me over". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Sadly, I'm feeling the guilt he's trying to bestow upon me. That's why I've mentioned it in this post... b/c typing it out helps me to see that my decisions are sound, and are not intended to hurt him, but are to proctect me and my boys.
I will be talking to the housing access centre again on Monday. But first, on Friday morning, the kids are getting their portraits done at Wal-Mart. That's going to be fun! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> What with 3 little boys who really don't like to sit still.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
So, that's this week's update. If you've read it this far, may I offer a special thanks to you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (b/c I know it's fairly long).
Karen
