I have been in Plan B for 1 week. Please could some of you MB members who have been through this post some tips, comments etc. I have found very little on this site except that there is a huge temptation to contact WS, allow them back too soon and that anti depressants may be needed to get us through.

Hi,

Gotta run....stuck at work.. but am bumping this up. There are a lot of things to know about plan B. Let's push this to the top and get some ideas!

L.

I found this post very informative. Plan B - 101 (2nd ed.)

Thank you Orchid and Luki.
After a week, Plan B is getting harder for me. WS told my S that she had sent me an email. I read it and it certainly appears that she is coming out of the fog very fast. She is in her own words very mixed up about what is going on and got upset when I cancelled Joint Credit cards and transferred utilities over to her name. I can sense she is hurting and it is hurting me and slowing my recovery.
I know I shouldn't have but I replied with an email laid out as a Plan B type letter, plus told her that I do not want a divorce or legal separation but that this is what would happen if we D'd but unlike a D this reversible.
I have asked her not to contact me as it would only hurt us both further.
I suppose part of the problem is that I did not explain the financial arrangements in the Plan B letter so I have had to email her to tell her where her support money is.

Can anyone advise me on the correct course of action from now on.
NS

Well, where to start?

Can you give us all some more background? Do you have your story already described in some post?

Based on the info I can glean from this post, whatever you have done so far may be working. Don't change a thing until you bring us up to speed. No contact, OK? Assume that it's hurting her more than you, although inflicting hurt is not the goal.

Be aware that weekend traffic here is slow. All the better, because time is on your side. Do not feel in a hurry. Let her feel that.

In the meantime, if she commnicates that she is remorseful and wants to work on the marriage and has ended the affair, relax Plan B and welcome her with open arms. Anything less than that admission on her part should generate no communication from you unless there are kids needs involved. In that case, keep it business like and calm.

OK?

WAT
I noticed a drastic change in WS behaviour at Easter. WS tells me that I don't love her and that I would be happier without her. Started Plan A in June 02 and phoned OPW in July. WS then admitted to EA but has consistently denied PA. Came home early on 2 twice to find WS and OP locked in house. The last time 15/11/02 I was actually coming home early to collect things to leave and start Plan B. The fact that WS did not want to work on M was getting too much.
Now in Plan B, I am recovering and sleeping at night again. However WS passes messages onto my youngest S while I am on the phone to him.
Ws complains that I cut off phone and transferred utility bills to her. I have told her that it is to transfer responsibility to her. She told him that we have been invited to parties - would I like to come. I find this very confusing but as she has not mentioned her A with OP ending, I have not contacted her.
I suppose I should expect the unexpected but please can other Plan B'ers share their experiences on this board.
NS

<small>[ November 28, 2002, 01:20 AM: Message edited by: Newsunrise ]</small>