Does anone here remember me as Faith-n-Hope?
Well after that year of H bouncing back and forth, he is with OW in their apt. He said he wanted a divorce but kept making excuses, so I got a lawyer for him and started everything. If I hadn't I don't think that he would have. We are waiting for the final stuff in Feb. He has done some strange things, I don't want him back at this juncture mind you, it just seems odd for a man who wants out of his marriage and current life. He took out an home equity loan on our house to pay off our bills, he has told friends that his first priority is to make sure D and I are taken care of, he wants to keep 1/2 interest in the house but wants no privleges to it. I am working 2 jobs to make it work and he says if I ever need extra he is here for me. It just seems odd. OW has 3 kids H does not like, so she gavew them up, with the excuse that being a single mom is too hard. Well she had no rent, no mortgage or car payment or all of the other things that I have to worry about, she just got rid of them for my H in my opinion.
He keeps making weird comments, I have told him that I would not take him back as the man he is, because who he has become is not fit to scrape the poop off of the shoe of the man that I married.
I did stoop a little, she wrote an e-mail to me that was very insecure and such, I was talking to STBX about it and she grabbed the phone and ultimatly attacked me as a mother, I made a statement that I shouldn't have, "At least I am being a mother and didn't quit on my kid cuz it's too hard"
I am not mean like that but she just added more to my plate that I don't need, I am tired and don't have the energy or time for her games.
There is so much more, too much to write at the moment, I guess that I will let a little trickle out here and there.
But out of sheer wonder, do his actions seem strange?
FLH

dear faith- i'm sorry to hear where you are at.

maybe his strange actions are out of guilt. at some level they have to realize the putzes they have become.

you do however sound strong for yourself. thats great. keep us posted.

FaithLostHope! Somewhere along the line, I feel you H will wake up in this nightmare and see what a dummy he is! How in the world can a man respect a woman who would throw her kids away for him? I think in the end he will be on miserable person and regret what he's done. Just don't let him bury you in payments on the house without helping make them. If he wants half the ownership, then he's going to be entitled to half the equity if ever sold and we all know it's going up in value. So stick him with at least half the payments plus child support and spousal support. Somewhere along the line, OW will get tired of there being no money to treat her to luxury! The OW in our case, was trying to get him to move all savings and retirement assets to another state. I think he finally had to tell her that under laws here, that would be impossible and I could get 100% for the attempt to defraud under our laws. LOL That, I'm sure had a big part to play in her losing interest! And I let her know she could have him, but better be prepared to support the two of them as I was covered well by laws and being married 30 yrs.He just retired this year. He couldn't even withdraw from our retirement savings without my signature. So my advice is tie up any and all assets you can legally. Including any life insurance he has, and pension plans. You seem to have a good grip on this situation and I admire you for working hard and loving your children. This OW is a piece of Trash! God bless, LouLou

First off,(it is really bugging me right now) I really have a hard time sharing my daughter with this woman. She is so emotionally whacked.Thank you LouLou, He is ordered to pay the first and second mortgage on the house, I am still scrambling to make ends meet though. I mentioned the e-mail that she wrote, here it is guys, I just thing that if she was so secure that she wouldn't have had to write it at all. I will continue to be honest with my STBX. Somebody in this situation has to be. If my telling him that yes, I do still love him but want nothing to do with him relationally except for being D'd dad, bothers her then to me that is her hang up. What the heck do you think her comment "Just because you have a Che=ristian marriage doesn't mean it can't be destroyed" and then watching it be done did to me? yet I din't write her a condensending e-mail to make myself feel better, I delt with the situation and the person I should have delt with, my H.