My husband left me and our four boys in September and is living with OW. He has been fired from his job, he was a police officer, thanks to her. she told his boss that they were havong an affair. My husband is the third officer that she has had an affair with and has gotten fired. We have been married for a little over seven years and we were high school sweethearts. We hardly ever fought and just the month and a half before he left things were great. There were a lot of stress he worked two jobs I stayed home taking care of everything else we were both tired and with his schedule was hard for us to be alone so I know what went wrong. This OW has had a number of affairs with married men and has had affairs onher four ex-husbands. She is blamming me for hangups at her work, for a false report that my H was in the hospital. None of these things are true. Yes I want my H back but I am not going to act like a child to get him back. I have left several messages last week to her for him about our 20 month old having staples put in his head. He fell thinks he is supper man. She has threatened me saying that she is going to take my kids away from me next H response she would not do that. She has said that they will get their kids next visitation and that they will be hers soon. She is making me out to be the bad person and my H believes her over me. Anothe thing is that she posted a message on the internet in her about him saying that she thinks he stupid blah blah and sent me a copy of it along with a copy to his uncles. For some reason he thinks she did not do this. He was such a good H and Father and now he is the opposite. He canceled one visitation because they were going out of town and is so rude to me on the phone. When we are in person it is different. He says things like God works in mysterious ways, we can always get back together, I love you but I don't know if I am in love with you. I have asked him if the two of us can get together maybe I don't want to promse you anything and then brake it. He also says that Divorce is the best for now you nver know what you have until you dont have it. What do I do? I have not talked phoned him in four weeks except to let him know about our 20 month old thats it. Ido miss him and love him very much. I just wish he would wake up and see this **** for what she is. I have not contacted him at all stayed clear of her and him even the town. Although the whole town thinks he is stupid for what he is doing. What is going on how long does it last what are my chances of reconcilation?

I believe more in focusing this on you than on him...and that you hold the power and strength to survive whatever the outcome...

Speculating will drive you nuts, send your thoughts in a circle and will halt making any progress focusing on you and your children...

Most affairs die a natural death...this woman sounds sick and a known cake-eater...give her enough rope she will hang herself...which gives you p-l-e-n-t-y of time to work and focus on you....
In fact most affairs die a natural even when the BS does nothing...but there is lots you can do...

No contact with her what-so-ever with her..this woman is a threat to your children....ALL communication through your "husband" ...

Do not power struggle with WS about what a bad person she is...any negative comments you make will make him dig his heels in deeper and be turned against you....say nothing about her....

Get a concrete plan with husband established on how to communicate about the children
Keep concrete records of missed visitation
Keep concrete records of negative interactions from her with you..

seek guidance here for more specific legal actions that may be open to you...there are people here with experience in legally limiting contact with "other people"...I would not want this person around my children....

Read up on PLAN A for you....meet his needs when you can...

Remember that she is/will show her true colors soon enough...

Consider legal council knowledge is power..
I feel extremely sorry for the children in this...yours and even hers...

Actions speak louder than words..continue being the best mom you can be...and God love you and that 20 month old superman....I've got a 17 month old one...and it is just a matter of time till we have to visit the "stitch faerie" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
egads...

I believe your chances of this dieing an ugly death are good...
I also believe that if you work hard on you...that you may come to a place that will definately not settle or put up with what you have in the past...

peace and strength to your home.
ARK

I have an attorney infact we are inthe process of a divorce. I am however doing what I can to stal it. When he does have visitation he is not sopposed to have our children around her and he has infact broke that agreement everytime. My attorney said that the next time we will have the judge make him put up a bond where if he breaks it again then I will get the bond and he will be held in contempt. He is also over 800 dollars in back child support. I have gotten 58% of his retirement which willhelp with clothes and what nots for the boys. Me I have lost almost twenty pouns and 7 inches off the hips(the pregnancy hips ahhh) I am smiling more but memories come on so fast and I find myself crying. We have a 5,4,20mnth old, and a 9month old all boys. They are the best and they difently deserve better than what they are doing. I am trying to stay postive through out this. Everyone has said that she will burn him soon enough just a matter of time and when. I would hate from him to feel what I am going through though. I guess sit back and waite is what I should do. I am going back to school to finish so I do have a plan for myself in case it falls all apart. One thing that keeps me sain is that I know that what ever they think they have it will never be what we had. Our love was true and real theirs is lies and secrets. They hardly go in to town together and from what I have heard whent they do he avoids people we know at all costs. Is this the fog talk theat I keep reading about?

Helphopeful! That woman doesn't have a snowballs chance in H--- of taking your children!In fact, yes, you can have a ruling where she can't even be around you children! And I don't know what state you are in, But look into sueing her for alienation of affection, damages to you future for you and children as she got your husband fired! With her track record, she would be unfit to have children around her. Even her own! And losing the weight is great. LOL Revenge is sweet. Just take care of you health because I lost so much weight from the pain that I became ill. In fact, I came close to dying. So take care of you for you childrens sake. But if you can, go treat yourself to some nice new clothes, and doll up honey. When he sees you not pining away and possibly that you may be happy due to some new person in your life, it will eat him alive. They always want their cake and eat it too!
Since there has been such a history of this woman breaking up marriages and men losing jobs, I think a judge will can her butt! While you can stall the divorce, do everything you can to appear happy and living well. That will eat H butt up too! Just be nice when around him though.But let this other woman know through him that her threats are not going anywhere. I think you've got a great case against her if your state allows it. Check with your lawyer! Best to you, LouLou

I live in Texas and i am not sure it is a no fault state but I can bring up the affair. I have thought about seeing if I can get a restraining order so she can not go around my kids since my H will not honor the agreement. I am not sure though. I have filed a complaint with the local police department that she ran me off the road I would have let her hit me but I had the kids with me. Her family id well known in the community money money. I am taking better care of myself now than I did before watchinf what I eat do and plenty of exercise. I hope everything is better for you. Thanks. I t is so hard to put up a happy face aroung H all I want is to talk to be with him and when we are together it is nice conversations its just not alot. Anytime she is around he is differnet rude. But when its just him its different. Sometimes I get the feeling that he does not know what he wants. The last time I saw him he was still wearing his wedding ring I don't know if he is anymore. She has made me out to be the bad person. The sad thing is that he believes her over me he knows me better than anyone. Cuts like a knife. H*** she even had a truck repo. I was called from the dealership and told that i could come get the car seats out and anything else that was mine and that my H girlfriend called and said the H did not want it anymore and that it was broken down on the side of the road. I don't even know if he knows that she called. He worked at the dealer ship second job. They said he was a dependable employee and the he stopped coming to work and then called and quite over the phone. That is something he would never have done. I remeber that the last three weeks was so nice it was as if we were on our honey moon again. Then poof he became made and angry could not sit still and then started staying out later at night his shift ended at 2 in the morning and he would not come home until 3 or 4. Then one morning he came home about 8 and said that he thought that we shuold seperate I got made he had just left for week to find himself and now wanted more tome apart kept saying that he did not deserve me that he was mad at himself.