Everyone here thinks i am a fool, am i??? I sure as heck feel like it today. He is probably moved on to other women, you know other than the original ow. Maybe it is time to cut my losses. I really feel like quitting today. I quess i will wait for the big talk until after the holidays. Thats what he wanted to do last year. 11 year anniversary coming up. I don't think i can do this, i am so tired of it all today, I went to school this morning, and all the teachers are talking about "HIM" and of course me. what a fool i am for putting up with it, He was at the bowling alley in town with some guys and three girls. Probably is another one see my by line but do i have to face it even at work, every day. NO REST FOR THE WEARY, not even here. sorry for the vent feel like crying.

((((((((((not going to do this)))))))))))
I know somewhat how you feel as I live in small town too. However, no one knows our situation, so I feel lucky. But that can be hard, too - no one to talk to, pretending everything is wonderful.

I know it's easy to say and hard to do but hold your head up high. I wish I had some good comeback to say to those people who are talking about you. Maybe someone will come up with something. Ann Landers always had a good comeback.

Hang in there....
DB

Thanks Blondie
not really sure what to do. confront, would be a lb, but at this point i keep thinking if i make him mad, maybe he will leave, last fight we had he went to leave but i disabled <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> his car because he was drunk. i used to run after him and beg him to stay. Not the last time, just said if you want to go i will drive you but your not driving. I know I need to move to plan B, but no clue where to start. I have worked on a letter off and on. you know those days. but its not done. sounds crazy doesn't it

You know, it's one thing to have an affair but an entirely other thing to humiliate your "life partner" while doing it. I hope that someday when the fog lifts, he is ashamed of what he did to you.

I'm not writing this to make you cry but maybe you should get mad, too. I mean, everyone has their limits.

Thinking about you...

NotDoingThis,

Ever give him a taste of his OWN medicine?

There are men out there that would love to go out with you. Right? You don't have to go out with them and do anything that would be wrong, but you H sounds a little to confidant and needs a jolt of reality.

Dear Blondi, and Ezra

This day just keeps getting better, (principal calls me in, are you ok, do you need to talk do you need some time off.. ok ok ok breathe, I FEEL SO STUPID <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Talk about humiliated i don't even want to go home. I am sure that this one will be hard to fake away. It is really getting to hard to plan a. I'm not as good a liar as he is.

Ezra, he even suggested it. i think he is so deep in the fog that he has lost his way

I'm not really sure about this, but Is confronting an LB or just HOW you confront?

Even if it is an LB, well how can it be? Nowhere did they tell you you have to take this kind of stuff.

Hopefully you get out of school early tomorrow? Then 4 long days to either get something done or at least think about what you want. I hope you leave time in your long weekend for you. I think you really need some time for yourself right now. Do you have any good GIRL friends to talk to? Anybody that's gone through this already?

Have you read my posts on clergy vs. marriage counseling? I haven't done either yet but I have gotten lots of positive feedback about the helpfulness and good advice of clergy. That might be an option for you, too.

Take a bubble bath tonight - but turn the lights out and light some candles so you don't see how dirty your bathroom is .... that's what I have to do!!!!!

Dazed,

Ok now i get it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> well, i don't have school tomorrow, and i don't have a messy bathroom because get this, my WH told my MIL that the reason we were having marriage problems to begin with was my house was messy. anyway, she suggested nicely to me that i get a house keeper and in my crazy i want to please stage, i did, $50 twice a month, so tonight i go home to a clean home. i would have been fine if he would ever pick up anything, wash anything, ect. I work 2 jobs so he can do ??? he is self employed and i don't know what he does with his time or his money. See, i really need to do something abut the he## my cakeeating H is putting me through. I told myself when/if i started getting angry or bitter i would quit trying. re-reading my post sounds like im there, sorry for the vent. Thanks for all the help, i really needed it. S

Good luck to you. I hope you find peace soon. I wish he was more willing to work on your M. I guess I'm lucky in that respect. My WH seems more than willing. I'm concerned he never seemed to go through withdrawal, though. Oh, well.