So we are here and there are some family members that did not know about WS, and I did not feel it was time to say anything, you know neices nephews. WS's father won't come over today because of A. Anyhoo, WS WAS NOT suppose to be here as you know if you read my story he has totally cut off all responsibilites, and has been quite high on the "FOG". Well he IS here and talking to family with hints of his A. As if ANYONE here approves, he is totally disruptive and he is just down right "ignorant" if I must say. I mean it's one thing about his behavior with the family that is living here and knows his wacked out behavior but another when there are people here that DOES NOT know and love me very much and now they feel weird. Geesh, It is Thanksgiving for petesake, can He just be human one day then go back to his "disneyland"? I must say I have been doing quite well and he is pushing me today, he has not broken me with his diggin at me yet, but I think he's working double time. Just had to get this out, WHEWWWWWW. Thanks for being here for me. Happy Turk Day, and please have a safe and blessful day.

Neesha --

Glad I found you on T-Day. Sorry you're having such a rough time with WS. Remember that The Fog is in, which virtually guarantees irrational behavior and words from him. He can't be sensitive to those issues = not an excuse for him, but an explanation. Should he know better? Of course. Does he? On some level, of course. But The Fog obscures all, changes and shifts things, obliterates the norm, the regular, the smart, the fair...

I KNOW you've been doing quite well. I'm always heartened by your grasp of things and your ability to hang in there...for you. Glad you could vent here with us; that's what we're here for--among other things.

Blessings and Peace on this Thanksgiving Day, Neesha, you deserve both...

Ammon

Oh Ammon, thanks so much for replying, I am always happy to see that you did. I had to vent earlier, but throughout this day, I truly know I was the stronger one, he tried and tried to goad me but IT just did not work for him, really backfired. He also had 2 glasses of wine and started trying to be nice and mean at the same time , I had to chuckle thinking, "Thank God I am not operating at that mental level, it would be ever so exhausting and confusing for me! Anyways, my just reward in this, is he thinks he has the flu!!!! I on the other hand, am thinking, "Could it be you are wearing yourself out living your "fogness" ? Anyways, want all to know, I made it thru today and am all the better for it. Can't say the same for WS. How was your day Ammon, do anything special? I hope you were with your daughters. Let me know

Neesha --

What a pleasant, upbeat message from you. Thank you for it. I'm heartened to see that you haven't allowed his "fogness" to ruin the day. BTW, vent anytime, to any of us or all of us. We're here for you...

I spent my T-Day volunteering at a local church for their community Thanksgiving dinner. They have provided a free dinner to anyone who shows up for the past 11 years. Starting at 8 am, I peeled potatoes, cooked, cut pies and cakes, set tables, etc. Then we served a wonderful buffet meal to 94 people from noon until 2 pm, then we ate, cleaned up and washed dishes until about 5 -- a long and exhausting day, but very rewarding.

Did it last year also. T-Day came just after my separation so I needed to find things to do. I'm not looking forward to the Christmas holiday time again this year; it was very hard for me last year. My daughters spent the day at their grandparents' home, so I didn't get to see them, but we have the whole day together tomorrow so we'll do our "own" Thanksgiving then.

Glad to feel your continued strength in your situation. You see things with WS exactly the way they are. He's not fooling you. He's not manipulating you. The bonus: you ARE all the better for that. Hang in Neesha, you'll make it.

Ammon

Hi Neesha. I can't recall if I've responded to you before. Regardless, you're in good hands with folks like Ammon.

One thing you wrote jumped off the screen at me:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Neesha:
<strong>I had to chuckle thinking, "Thank God I am not operating at that mental level, it would be ever so exhausting and confusing for me!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It took me sooooooo long to adopt this attitude. Now, it's what I spend a lot of my replys trying to communicate! It's "so exhausting and confusing" trying to figure out WSs in the fog. Don't suspend disbelief, rather disengage your cerebral cortices and "see" how they make fools of themselves!

When you conquer this hurdle, it gets easier across the board.

Good luck,

Ammon, sounds like you had a great Turk-Day, Thanksgiving has been a rough time for me, because I lost my mom on Thanksgiving in 94 at the young age of 59, how I loved her dearly, so it has been rough so I managed doing other things on that day since then, I am (was) an a exotic animal trainer so I made sure I was on the road and doing things with the public. Now, for the last 3 years of disability, that I did not go to Social Security because was retraining in another field and being "domestic goddess" a new thing for me I have celebrated Thanksgiving with WS and family. Also, did not want to go back into mental health field, I found out quickly it was burning me out, not my clients, just the people I worked with who had such distructive therapy practices, as I have heard from some of the horror stories on here how tunneled some therapists get!!! So I guess I will be on here this week-end as I look forward to reading everyone's updates and posts.Hope to hear from you Ammon.

Worth, nice to meet you, yes I feel like I am in excellant hands with Ammon, he has been a true gift for me, as some others, but Ammon has stuck with me to help me "check my behavior" should I get caught up in the "rip tide of the fog" So far I think I have kept my nuerons in check mentally, (course I could be biased)!! How are you doing Worth, I have read some of your post (alot really) and you are also helping so many people. Take Care and feel free to count on me (if I can help at all) should you feel you want or need to.