Well, I hope you both had a Happy Thanksgiving. Ours was pretty good considering the situation. Nothing much has changed, except I feel that he is still in contact with her and not telling me. You can't really say it's lying, because I haven't asked. I'm beginning to grow tired from this struggle. Sometimes I just want to give up and say if you want to go than just go. I feel like I am going at this all alone. He said he was going to go to counseling this past week and he didn't or if he did he hasn't told me. Lately, I've found that I have been suppressing alot of my anger about this whole situation. Sometimes I just really want to lay it out on the line and say "look, you really need to move on with your life. She is not coming back for you, she was never waiting for you because the whole time she was involved with you, she was making plans to go back to her marriage as if nothing happened between you two. You didn't mean as much to her as she did to you." Basically on the outside looking in I would say he was just TDY (temp duty assignment) fun for her. Some of the things I say or do, he sees them as me being an evil, awful person. For example, there was a really sad song on the radio and I looked over and he had tears in his eyes. When he looked at me, I just simply smiled in a caring, understanding way. He immeadiately got defensive and turned away. I asked what was the matter and he said I was laughing at him. I tried to explain to him that I was not laughing at him, I was just trying to show care and understanding. I asked why he always makes my actions out to be horrible things such as this. He responded that he didn't know why. I've also found that I've been thinking alot about things that he has said about her, like she has all her stuff together. It bothers me because it makes me wonder what he thinks about me. I'd like to say that I have my s**t straight as well. I have a fulltime job while working on my masters, dealing with my H affair, coaching cheerleading, etc and I'm not falling to pieces. I try to include him in conversations like he asked to be ( he ID this as an EN). But, he always acts so indifferent. When I asked him about,he said he doesn't enjoy conversations with me. I really feel like I am fighting a losing battle. But, then other times, things are good and somewhat normal. Just when I want to give up and let loose of all my frustration, I decide to take a deep breath and continue on. I'm so afraid to talk to him about how I feel, because I feel like that will give him the okay to say Divorce and throw it all away and I know that's not what I want. I think what I am feeling is normal. Is it? Hope to hear from you guys soon. I always feel so much better after I read your posts. Thanks a bunch and I'll try to be better about responding sooner.