http://www.al-anon.org/ is the main website. Al-Anon is a worldwide organization, and so it is broken down into regional areas that have their own meeting schedules and information. You can find your local information service thru the worldwide website, or you can look up Al-Anon in the phone book. Or call a local AA group and ask them for the local Al-Anon information service number - they'll know.
Some areas have great websites. The Pennyslvania Area has one (I know, I built it for them! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) that has a database of all Al-Anon meetings in PA.
Just in case anyoen reading this wants a meeting in PA - try
http://www.pa-al-anon.org/Online resources -
http://www.steps2recovery.org/ is a relatively good mailing list.
Anyway, find a meeting and go. As someone else already suggested, don't make any life altering decisions for at least 6 months.
Lets get rid of some of your frustration for you! There is nothing you can do or should do to convince his family that he has a drinking problem. All you are going to do is cause resentment and disbelief amongst family members. It doesn't matter what they think or believe, it won't change your situation even ONE iota.
And sweetie, if you feel like having a drink, have one. Refusing alcholol around his family just makes you self-righteous. Your husband is going to drink, whether or not YOU are drinking. He isn't a child - you aren't required to set him a good example - his disease is NOT caused by other's examples or whether or not other people drink in front of him.
Now, if you have a tendency to fight with him after having a few drinks yourself - well then its a good reason to avoid it - because you need to keep a clear head. Impairing your own good judgement is not wise. But if you are simply turning away a glass of wine with dinner because HE is an alcoholic....well...do you see how silly that is? Because he'll notice, interprete your actions as self-righteous, as will his family, and then he'll probably drink an extra one just for you, just to prove he isn't an alcoholic! And then you get to feel like a self-righteous victim (*I* am not in denial, *I* didn't drink in front of him, and everyone hates me now!) Yes, its crazy, I know.
I live with an active alcoholic. Believe me, there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to change or control his disease. He has to chose help for himself and then actively choose it for himself.
The only thing you can do is get help for yourself, with Al-Anon. Alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful. It is much bigger than you are. That's why in the first Step of Al-Anon (usually at rock bottom for most of us): We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
Recognizing that we do NOT have power or control over other people, situations or diseases is a powerful thing.
But its not without hope because in the next step we: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Ahhah. You and I don't have power or control over anything but our own actions, behavior, and choices. But there is something else bigger than us who does have the power to straighten out the mess we have made of our own lives.
And what is that power? Well in step three, we: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God
as we understood Him.
The God of YOUR understanding might be very different from mine. But that's ok. I only have to turn MY life over to MY higher power. You get to turn your life over to YOUR higher power <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Anyway, thats a very very brief cliff notes to the first three steps.
The promise of the 12 steps is that we WILL become happy, joyous and free - no matter if the alcoholic is drinking or not.
So welcome to the club! You are on the path to serenity <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
