I cant seem to stop crying today. Returned home from Thanksgiving trip to see H's family. H is having intense A with MOW. H only called our sons one time while we were gone, 7 day trip. I broke Plan B rule by speaking with him today. I found out that he had gone to see a play with OW when ticket office left message on my work phone about performance time. We had an account under my name and phone number with the threater. He also had not put any money that he promised into my account and upon finding out about the date at the play sent me into a rage. I LB big time. I finally went to doctor today and he has put me on Zoloft. I hope it helps. I was in the mad phase last week and now I back to the crying phase. It has been since 8/20/02 since D-D but I dont see the A ending anytime soon. Coworker told me that H is acting happy around the office and was shock to hear that H was not in much contact with sons. H it seems has replaced our sons with OW teenager children who have always looked to him. I just wanted someone to give me hope that my H might come out of the fog. Rhonda

You said Married OW, right? Time for some daylight maybe? If you haven'y already read:

On informing OP's spouse of affair.

I am on prozac and it has helped tremendously. Keeps me from boiling over. You will notice a difference. Hang in there.

I am new to this web site and prior to today I felt very lonely and afraid. I suppose I thought no one else out there could possibly understand how much love can hurt. I hope things will get better for you. While I do not have any advice at this point I do wish you and hope the best for you. I keep telling myself things happen for a reason and although I do not truely understand the reasoning at this point in time-- I know somehow things will turn out okay in the end.
You are not alone.

Luki and Nicole, Thanks for your response. Luki the OW husband knows. He is working out of state and also has a history of affairs from what i've been told. I heard that he was not the best dad. What hurts the most is my H is doing things for her and her children that he never had time to do with us. Nicole,I also have been saying to myself that everything happens for a reason. I had been the giver in our relationship and he never had to give back to me. I now want more out of a relationship and it took this affair to wake me up. I trust and have faith in God that whatever happens I will be okay and so will my boys. If they do marry each other they will be taking into their relationship all their personal baggage whereas I am learning what it takes to make a happy and healthy marriage. Thanks again..Rhonda

RRS I am so sorry that he can't get his head out of his a$$ long enough to know that he has children of his own!! I am sorry that you feeling the pain but remember, D-day was in august correct? Hey, it's not even 3 months the true beings have not been able to show themselves yet in the A, it's all rainbows and lollipops for them right now because of the "smoke screen of fantasy". I found my WS Oct 28/02 and he is way out there, he is also moving out and he has not one concern for anybody or anything but her. They (WS) are not the shell we see before us, how can they be, if they were then I would have been an idiot 3 years ago, or I was in the "fog of the century" for falling in love and being committed to a "pod" of a human (well he is not really acting human) but you get the drift. Hang in there and know that you can take it one minute at a time and we are all here for you. Your anti-dep's will take awhile to build up a level for you, but you'll notice a difference, it evens you out and can make things easier to handle. Please keep posting to let us know. My thoughts are with you.

Neesha, I should be in bed but I couldnt sleep.. While at my doctor appt. getting my Zoloft my youngest son (13 yrs) teacher called me telling me that he was failing math. My son has never failed anything before he was an A/B student. I broke down and told teacher about H's affair and asked her to call H at work and notified him of the situation since he believes that our boys are handling the situation fine. My H called tonight and I made the mistake of speaking with him. My H went into blaming me for not making sure son's school work was being done. I lost it again with him and LB. He verbally attacked me over and over and I let him have it back. He admitted that they have been sleeping together since May. (ouch) I told him that they deserve each other and wished them happiness and hung up. He is not the same person I have loved for the past 18 years and he is a lost soul even admitted he does not believe in GOD anymore..How can you love and hate the same person. Neesha thank you for your kind words and encouragement and I have followed you posts and know all the pain that you are going through also. Rhonda