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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 382
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 382 |
I'm an old timer who hasn't been posting much lately. Most of you that have been here a while know my story. My situation is a lot different than most here because my WW is involved with another woman.
I have been receiving some views from another site called Support Str8 Spouses of Gays. Their attitude is that there is absolutely no future for my marriage because my wife is either gay or not. There is no in-between. In my many sessions with Steve Harley, he does not seem to agree.
I was wondering what everyone else might think or if any of you have had the experience of knowing a couple in this situation.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
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Hi AH - been wondering about you. Let's go have a beer sometime and drag OOOO with us. Well, what you're hearing confuses me: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Always Hopeful: <strong>Their attitude is that there is absolutely no future for my marriage because my wife is either gay or not. There is no in-between. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Isn't this always the case? I mean, you and I (and everybody else) are either gay or not also. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> WAT
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 316
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If she is truly gay then the ending of her current relationship wouldn't change that.
My sister recently came out and is in the process of divorcing her H of 22 years. Her affair started 5 years ago and ended about 2.5 years later when OW died of cancer. She told her H at the time she was gay and they decided to stay together until the kids were older. She only recently came out to the rest of the family because she decided her kids are old enough and she wants to divorce. I don't believe that she has been invloved with anyone else since the first affair. So a long story short her affair ended and she's still divorcing her H. So I'd have to disagree with Steve H.
I feel so sorry for all involved in these situations. My BIL does not want a divorce and I think he held out hope that things would change.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 816
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I don't think any affair has a cut and dried ending.
My sister is gay. Always has been, always will be. Her sexuality, just like mine and yours, was not a choice. If your wife is gay, then she's gay.
In any case I'm sorry you're in pain. The stigmas that you must feel, I'm sure, are daunting.
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283
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I'm no expert, but I do think that if she is gay, she is gay. However, there are some people who are truly bisexual, and in that case it is not nearly so cut and dried. My friend's sister left her H, found a female companion for some time, then dated both genders a while. I'm not sure she will ever go back to her H though she misses him...burned bridges on her way out.
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 984
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Joined: Jul 2002
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Hi Always,
No, I don't thing the advice you are giving is correct. If it were true, then once a person had a same sex relationship, they would never have an opposite sex relationship and there are many, many people (Anne Hesche - Ellen DeGeneris' ex is a famous example of such a situation...she just married a guy) do. There are many bisexual people in this world.
Brit's Brat/BS-41
FWH-43
DS-13 months
Status: One Day At A Time
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 382
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 382 |
Hey Dave-
I certainly would love to take you up on that!
I live in South Jersey. You're near Baltimore?
Could be a plan!
Anywho, by stating that there is no in-between, I mean they are leaving out those who are bisexual. And there are people at this site that will argue that bisexuality does not exist.
I'll have to use BB's example on them...
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2,900
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<small>[ February 05, 2005, 09:48 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 382
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 382 |
Hanora- Thanks for your reply as well. What is HUGS? I cannot find anything remotely close to it on the St8 spouse site. Please elaborate! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 382
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 840
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<small>[ December 06, 2002, 06:27 AM: Message edited by: Nick123 ]</small>
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