What's up today? Been worried and wondering.

Hey,

Thanks for wondering. I haven't done it yet. Still trying to hang to it. However. As you can tell its 12:30 in the morning. WH and i had a fight of sorts. He is mad becasue when we moved from the trailer we lived in to the house we are in now. We made a deal with the people that were going to haul the trailer off that they could have the stuff that was left in the trailer. Anyway, they took a bunch of stuff before i had finished getting our stuff out. Anyway. most of the stuff they took was his. GUn cabinet, cd's a duck mount. anyway. I called them, he said at the time it was only the gun cabinet that was missing and he wanted it back. Well now its all my fault. He was stomping around the house last night, barly said good night and all. I don't know. I just want this over. His anger at me is overwelming, He is not violent towards me, but he is soooooo angry, all the time, one of the ways i know things are going good between him and OW is because he is so moody and angry. Its a classic sign i know but its killing me. Checked his phone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> She called it at 11:00 pm. wish i had his password, would love tohear the message.
I'm ok for now, snow day tomorrow again so no school <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> wish i were a bird i would fly fly away. Thanks again for caring, it was so good to come to my computer and see that you did thanks a million. S

(((((((((((s))))))))))))))
So does a snow day mean you have to put up with his anger all day???

Before I found out the A was going on my H would just Bite My Head Off for the littlest questions. When he does it in front of other people it can be sooooo embarrassing. His dad acts like that and I talked to my SIL and she says her H does that sometimes too. My MIL about broke down crying last time we visited her and ranted to my H about it.

In the throes of our DDAY I told him "You act just like your father and I don't want to live like your mother". That kinda shook him up.

Bake some Christmas cookies today. I envy you the snow day because I only live 2 blocks from work so snow days for me are RARE!!!!
K

Pretty much all day today too. Except when he ran out of the house to go to hers, (im guesing)Gut check. ANyway. He has called about 10 times, bringing home chinese. I feel physically ill at the thought. Got to run, i will have a computer at home soon so that will be great for me.. Hope your day is going well, Bless you for caring about my troubles. (((((((DB)))))))))0
thanks

Was glad to hear you got a little bit of relief (?) while he was out. Are things better when he is gone? Is he angry with your kids as well? I doubt he likes what he sees in the mirror and that makes him even angrier. Just some amateur psychology for ya!

Good Morning Dazed,

Yes things are always a little lighter when he is gone. We al tiptoe these days when he is home. I am glad to be back at school. How are you today???. I hope the sun is shining where you are today. I really miss the sun during the winter.

Yes, the sun is shining. Sometimes I like it gloomy - fits my mood sometimes. Tonight is the "Christmas Party" from hell. If you recall, they work together. I don't know if she will be there or not. I bought this new skirt and tried it on this morning - not very flattering. Plus, I found out there will be a dj and this skirt is long so not really designed for dancing.

I might need a little tlc today!

We were supposed to get snow but never did. Good thing because I really HATE snow!

Glad you are in better spirits.
DB

What color skirt, and you are so brave. I think about seeing ow everytime i go to walmart, what do you say. I think i would runscreaming from the store. You facing it. YOU GO GIRL. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I really hate snow to. The first day it isn't to bad, however, the second, dirty and slushy, yuk..

((((DAZY)))))

It's black. My DD hates black but how can you go wrong with black, I say?

Ditto on the snow thing.

As for being brave, we'll see. I don't know if you read my post from awhile back but I DID see OW in Walmart about 2 weeks before I knew she WAS THE OTHER WOMAN. We were childhood friends. She KNEW me!!! We were at a work "function" this summer (I think before anything started, not real sure on details of this) and she was OVERTLY FLIRTING with my H. Some of our close friends noticed and were MAD!!!

Anyway, now, everytime I'm about to walk into Walmart I think "Oh, no, what do I do if I see her." I think it was Luki who said, "Hold your head up high and make eye contact and see what SHE does." She's probably more afraid of me than I am of her. I don't really know if that's true but it's nice to think that!!!

Anyway, not sure if she's going to be there or not tonight - haven't brought up that subject! I am going to reread my Christmas Party thread - I think it's back 2 weeks ago and hopefully gain courage from that. Might have to read again before I leave for home, too!!!

Thanks for the hug - am sending one back at ya for the weekend.
(((((((s)))))))
DB

Your right, black, it's slimming, and slimming is always good <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Best wishes tonight, Christmas party??? I hope you dance the night away. Wear a little glitter, it always makes me feel better. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Good idea - glitter. My DD is QUEEN of GLITTER. She even has the spray on your clothes kind. She's high maintenance - I'm very low. It's humbling having to go "borrow" makeup from your daughter!!! Just wait!!!!

So what are your plans for the weekend?

Well, lets see, laundry, i work a second job, (wait tables) tomorrow night. I am selling puppies, so i have that to do as well. I plan to talk to H this weekend. If things go as i expect (angry crap) i am going to give him my letter. I don't expect him to move out on the spot. He will probalby try to stay through Christmas. That i can do but i want it known what i am doing. Hiding things isn't usually my style. And i feel like i am.

What are you planning, party tonight and sleep tomorrow???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I hope you have a blast. I have been picturing you walking in on your husbands arm, the winner, it really doesn't matter if she shows up or not, Everyone needs to see you as a couple. Sweet revenge.

Thank you for the thoughts. I hope it works. He' being great today and I haven't said word one about how sick I'm going to feel walking in there!

No rest for the wicked. I always go on a big Christmas shopping spree with friends and that is tomorrow. We usually leave at 8 am and don't get back until 1 am the next day!! However, I am bailing out and leaving about 5 because of DS basketball game. Then, shock of shocks, H and I are going Christmas shopping for kids on Sunday. My DD said, "Since when does he go shopping with you?" I said, "This is the new, improved dad"!

Well, I'm glad you have your letter all ready to give to him. Maybe it will bring him to his senses. Maybe exposing the A is what needs to happen even in a small town.

Some friends of ours went through this last summer. It was UGLY. Everyone in town new and everyone talked about it. She kicked him out for a couple of days or maybe even a week. Anyway, they are back together and HAPPY. It's been sickening for the rest of us how HAPPY they have been. I mean holding hands, can't take their eyes off each other happy. They have been married for over 20 years. I long to ask her how she did it but can't do it.

Anyway, the point is, there can be happy endings in a small town when everyone knows. Remember that.
Good luck - will look forward to hearing on Monday.
K.

dazed,

How did your Party go???? Just wondering how you are.

Sara

SHE WASN'T THERE!!!!

Chalk up one little victory for BSs in the moral war on infidelity! Just kidding. I don't know why she didn't show up but I would like to think she was too cowardly or dying of guilt fever!

Anyway, didn't wear the skirt - wore black pants and this really sparkly twinset and my H said "Oh, how come your'e not wearing the skirt? I do like what you have on now!" That was good.

How was your weekend? Been wondering if you did "anything" or not.
DB

Im glad your party went good, I bet your Husband was glad she wasn't there as well. It is always good to know you look good <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I did actually do something, i told him that he had to choose. He acted like he was going to leave, went to the closet and opened the door, I didn't say anything, (used to i would have begged him to stay) anyway he acted really weird, used to he would have cried, but yesterday he just kept saying I thought we were doing better, I kept saying your having a relationship with OW is killing me. He kept apologizing, saying it (there relationship would end when she moves away, ) He says no sex, like sex matters to me, its the friendship that is killing me, anyway. I said what does her husband think about your relationship with her. He says that its ok. I said well if your relationship with her is nothing but friendship you won't mind me calling her then will you. He says you can't call her now her H is home, I said oh so he really doesn't know. He said well, he is psyco. I said your making me psyco. I had things to do yesterday, so i left. He called and asked for me to bring home dinner. I did. Anyway when i get home he is drinking, and crying. I ask what is wrong he says nothing, im fine. blah blah blah, He then walks into the bed room and starts loading his hand gun. OK< overload, we get into a fight. I ask him to go to counseling, he says no, they will just tell him what he already knows, he has screwed up his life,and he is wrong. Ok jump to this morning, Everything is fine. he calls me, and tells me its spouse appreciation day, and he loves and appreciates me. So i guess all yesterday was was a waste of breath. He doesn't get it, He actually said we are both talking and we can't either one see the other one's point of view. He's right I don't see how he can expect me to live with this and He can't see why i feel like I do. Anyway, long story short of it. Yesterday was just one more try. I am still giving him the letter after Christmas. I told him i can't do one more year like this last one, and he said, you won't have to. Thanks for listening to my rant, I know i want to keep my family together, but right now i don't see it happening.

When is OW moving?

Would he really do something with the gun? To himself? I know that suicidal thoughts are really normal for this type of situation. My H told me he thought of it everyday and prayed that if something were to happen make it happen to him. However, I think he wouldn't actually do anything - you never know though. But your H taking a gun out - that's going one step further. Be careful.

As long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be able to live with yourself and your attempts at making marriage work - that's all you CAN do. Everything else is up to him. IMHO, the letter is going to be the wakeup call he needs. Then MAKE him do MC with you.

I wish I would have pushed harder in the MC area. But I think I'm gonna keep it in my back pocket for down the road. It can't be all wine and roses from here on......
DB

When is OW moving?

Would he really do something with the gun? To himself? I know that suicidal thoughts are really normal for this type of situation. My H told me he thought of it everyday and prayed that if something were to happen make it happen to him. However, I think he wouldn't actually do anything - you never know though. But your H taking a gun out - that's going one step further. Be careful.

As long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be able to live with yourself and your attempts at making marriage work - that's all you CAN do. Everything else is up to him. IMHO, the letter is going to be the wakeup call he needs. Then MAKE him do MC with you.

I wish I would have pushed harder in the MC area. But I think I'm gonna keep it in my back pocket for down the road. It can't be all wine and roses from here on......
DB

I thought she was moving, Dec 1. My husband was friends with her landlord,and he asked him to not renew their lease, he didn't. but they just moved in the same town, On the main road where i have to drive by to go to walmart, or the bank or anywhere. UGGGGG. I want to pull in everytime. I guess he won't be able to go there without someone seeing him, on the bright side. He thinks they will move soon. But he doesn't know when.

No i don't think he would do anything with the gun. But then again, he is not the same man i married. I am researching for a good marriage counselor today. I wish i could get Dr. Phil,. i really like him.
Do you??? He is on today at 3:00 about afairs. I am taking off of school early to watch. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />