My weekend wasn't good but it wasn't bad. H called Friday to say he was on his way to pick up our son. I asked him if he needed me to feed him or if they were going out somewhere. H says "I guess we aren't having Taco Bell together". I told him I would love to have dinner with my two favorite guys. I go get the food when he got here. After dinner, we talked a little, nothing major, just the happening of the week. Before he left, he asked if I was going out. I said I was going to a movie with a friend and then there was a band she wanted to go hear. The movie was great (The Sixth Sense). Then we go to this bar to hear the band. I don't know why, but the guys hitting on me really did not sit well. I was over it. I ended up leaving around 1 and going home. The next day when H and son get home, he asked how my evening was, I told him ok. He said just ok? I told him how I was over being hit on at bars. Why can't a lady just go to listen to music and have a drink without being hit on. My husbands response was for me to start wearing my wedding ring (I took it off when I found out about the OW), and tell them I'm happily married. I told him I wasn't happily married but I do tell them I am married. I told him that one guy last night said I was beautiful. H's response to me was "He just wanted to get in your pants." That really p****d me off. I asked him why if a guy tells me I'm beautiful, he only wants to get into my pants. That maybe there is truth to that. He just said that I was going to end up in bed with someone and at that point I better be ready to pack my stuff and get out of his house, he was not going to support me and my fling. We are not living together right now. He moved out 8/20 to think. The move was a mutual decison. I could not take this affair in my face any longer. It was getting harder to be nice to him. I even helped him pack and load the truck. I am not looking for a guy. I don't want anyone else but my husband. Yes the attention is nice. But I'm not looking. Anyway, we talked more. He says that sometimes he thinks I miss him and sometimes he doesn't. I asked him what he was doing Saturday night, he said he was going out. I asked with her, he said probably. I dropped the subject. But I could not forget about it. When he came over Sunday night to get his work truck, I asked him how was your date? He got mad at me. Said he doesn't want to talk about it with me. It only hurts me and makes me upset. I asked him why he can ask me about what I do when I go out, but I can't ask him. I never did get a response. He left after that. Said he did not want things to get ugly and that his cutting his visit with us short I did to myself. I am so confused and hurt. He did call me about a hour after he left to make sure I was ok. I guess I'm not having a good day today. Hurts like hell. I want my marriage to work out. I want my H back. When he calls and I tell him I love him he just says "ok" or "uhum". That hurts. Sometimes I wish I could just hate him. Then maybe it would not hurt so much. <P>------------------<BR>That which does not kill us, will make us stronger.<BR>* Viki<P>

Viki -- What a double standard!!! He's having the affair and he's moved out, yet he says he won't support your fling (no fling to begin with, though). Our separation was a mutual agreement as well. Hurts like hell. We miss our normal life. As far as him saying "umn or okay", I get that too. Sometimes an I know. But never an I love you. We just have hang in there. What other choices do we have?

Well, you should have asked him if that's why he was going after the OW ... to get in her pants???????<P>My opinion is that any man other than her H that "hits" on a woman or shows interest is only interested in ONE thing .... <P>Ask him what HIS motivation was with the OW .... if he'll even tell the truth on it.

pondvj,<BR>If he keeps this up there WILL be a time when you hate him. Or you will be apethetic towards him, either way he will someday regret what he is doing..... anyway I would like to think they will regret. My W would just look at me when I told her I love her......<BR>Hang in there someday all this will be cleared up.

Hi Pondvj<P>H is taking advantage of you. H feels he owns you and does not want to give you up. H is probably seeing this OW as short term and may be thinking of coming back after his fun. <P>I would tell H he has a week to comeback and be 100% committed or at least comeback and seek marriage counsiling or you will start moving on without him, and this includes dating. If H theatens to pull a financial stunt on you then get your financial law in order and ensure he has absolutly no control over your life. As long as he feel control over what you do then he will act the same.<P>I do not think it is good for your situation for H to have any control, either financial or emotional. Get the courts involved if there is a financial issue.<P>I know this is a major lovebuster but you need to ensure that you are protected and that H fully understands that it is his actions which are causing these reactions.<P>Good Luck<BR>_____________________________________________<BR>"Better to die on your feet than live on your knees"

Viki, don't you sometimes wish they'd listen to themselves when they talk? If it isn't okay for you to go to bed with someone else, he should realize he's also saying it isn't okay for him either. But he won't make that connection.<P>When I told my H, the last time we were separated, that I was lonely and tempted when men hit on me he said, "Do what you've got to do." Ick. Believe me, you don't want to hear that, either. He was doing her and didn't want to meet my needs or face what he was doing.