Today H and his staff, plus a few other employees for a total of about eight, are having their yearly business-planning meeting. They have a multi-million dollar center to work in, but decided they needed to go off-site for this meeting to "get away from the phones."
Renting any sort of meeting room was too expensive, so they are spending all day at the small, toy-filled house of one of the guys (he's got three kids.)

Has anyone else ever heard of such a thing???

PB,

YEP, AND HAVE DONE IT MANY TIMES TO GET AWAY FROM THE OFFICE AND THE PHONES. AND YES, WE REALLY DID HAVE MEETINGS.

NOW, IM CAN'T SAY THAT IT REALLY IS IN H'S CASE OR NOT.

D.

Atleast there are more then two of them at this meeting. Just be sure he leaves when everyonelse does. I'm sure it's probably nothing. If he uses that excuse again, I would be worried.

Very common. The executives that I work with went to the President's ranch out side of town and spent the night there working. It kept the expenses down tremendously to do it that way. They usually do one offsite a year. It's coordinated by some woman who works with them on the team building projects they do while they are there, she is contracted from the outside.

It's always seems innocent and harmless to me. Of course, it depends on the people you are dealing with...

Has anyone else ever heard of such a thing???

I sure have. In fact, I was so bothered by a similar issue, I did a study on it. Now this might seem extreme, but when oodles of money is being spent for these “retreats” and the company can’t “afford” to hire extra help that’s needed so hubby doesn’t have to put in 60 plus hours per week, then something seems odd.

The more I studied, the odder it got!

Hiring facilitators to come in to do these offsite retreats is big business. Just do a google on teambuilding and you will see what I mean. Yes, there usually are profitable business meetings and yes, I heard the excuse that they have to get away from the phones and the distractions of the office. Funny thing, tho, when you are the bosses, can’t you just put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the conference room door?

One of the main purposes for offsite retreats is so the coworkers can BOND. Yes, that’s right. On one site, I even read where they use the principles found in the theory of ATTRACTION in organizational psychology. Because, when people bond, the bottom line is increased cuz coworkers just love to spend all their time together and they are so much more creative.

Sorry to sound sarcastic. But this issue upset me a lot because I saw a lot of things that were just downright WRONG. I can’t explain here, but I saw these coworkers acting immorally at the bar after the business meeting. My H wasn’t there. And perhaps only a spouse or two was present. Did I mention that spouses are often DISCOURAGED from attending these overnight retreats? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<<<One of the main purposes for offsite retreats is so the coworkers can BOND. Yes, that&#8217;s right. On one site, I even read where they use the principles found in the theory of ATTRACTION in organizational psychology. Because, when people bond, the bottom line is increased cuz coworkers just love to spend all their time together and they are so much more creative.>>>

You are 100% correct. Any other reason is complete bullsh*t in my opinion. They are spending too much time and money on this crap for it to be anything else. And they sure aren't getting any work done.

This stuff damn near destroyed my marriage, but do you think the Company gives a rat's [censored] about that?

People learn to work together by working together. Not by playing together. Not by going out on pretend dates together. If there is anything I hate about corporate life, it's this Teambuilding (spit) garbage.

If a *group* of them can take a meeting off-site, why not just two of them? Hey, they need to take meetings too! My H made it very clear to me for years that "the Staff is the Staff," and he INSISTED it made no difference whether it was a half-dozen of them OR just his cute young flirtatious assistant who spent half her day with her @ss in his face. NO DIFFERENCE.

So, why they hell shouldn't they have taken an "extension of the workday" at her house? How would I even know? What the hell is the difference between two of them taking a meeting and eight of them taking a meeting? He insisted it made no difference at lunch and that was why there was no need for me to know about it. Why not a private meeting for them, too? You know, just to get away from the phones? Why the hell not?

Hi PB---- My office had offsite Christmas get together at someones house and a younger co worker even suggested we have shots... and we did... now this was a while back... but I still remember my boss flirting with me, one of the younger cute ones... we were kind of team building, and I would not go there with the boss... anyway....

We had quarterly outings, yea that's what it was.. that day we had fajitas catered.. it was a group of 10 or more.. and we played games.... like getting to know each other games someone made up....

We also did the same and went bowling and other stuff.. too , lunches etc. - it is fairly common...

But- My h's affair started with those after work outings that were initially business. GEE< wish my h had the willpower I had.... he couldn't turn down the respect and admiration that the little office girls had for him in his higher up position... - which I thought was so he could be a good h????-

Anyway, hugs. I am sorry.

Have comfort it is at a guy's house. POJA. Tell your h you are uncomfortable with it. If his work group is doing it, and it is not his idea.. he can't make it stop... but he can make sure he doesn't do the inappropriate stuff there that would hurt you.

Hugs and Hope for you, H

pb,

This is a commom practice and it depends on the integrity of the the organization and the people involved. I have participated in many of these and even promoted and organized them. I never felt that what we did was inappropriate (remember I am the BS so am very sensitive to those issues)

On the flip side, there are situations that are less than business like when employees get together this way. What do you think of his co-workers? The organization?

D.

Businesses do need to plan. Coworkers do need to work together. There’s a lot about teambuilding that is necessary to learn and do. Like a lot of subjects, there’s good and bad in them. But since statistics tell us that most meet their affair partners in the workplace, then I would think that the issue needs to be addressed and boundaries set in place by corporations. This isn’t being done in most companies. And companies are putting their employees in situations where they can become too familiar with each other. Why not keep business as business and send the employees home to their mates at the end of a reasonable day?

While not everyone on this site believes in God and the bible, many do. And more than anything, Satan would love to destroy families in an effort to destroy God’s plan. And since God gave him the right as god of this world for the moment, doesn’t it make sense that Satan is behind much of this teambuilding?

Personally, I don’t want my H bonding with his coworkers. It’s hard enough to have the time for bonding between us as work takes up entirely too much time and energy. I don’t want him going to recreational sites having a good time that should be reserved for us. I don’t want him going to dinner with his coworkers when spouses are not invited. They aren’t discussing business; they are socializing, while I’m waiting alone in the hotel room at the IN-TOWN retreat! [Spouses were allowed to share the room with their mates; most didn’t.]

Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

<<<On the flip side, there are situations that are less than business like when employees get together this way. What do you think of his co-workers? The organization?>>>

I've posted about this many times before. A lot of large corporations are just like the military with their "families are a necessary evil and none of our business" philosophy.

Anything -- and I do mean ANYTHING -- that gets the employees to bond with each other is encouraged, rewarded and enabled at every turn. This is good for business, just as "jealouse" pointed out. Leaving early to go home to your wife is not.

My H's company, a large U.S. corporation which everyone here would recognize, is notorious for doing all of this. Spouses have always been strictly prohibited from virtually all get-togethers, whether it's a lunch or a day trip or an overnight trip or a fancy awards dinner. The ONLKY exceptions were the company picnic and the Christmas party.

To my H's credit, he has invited me to a business dinner next week and to the Christmas lunch he is giving for his employees. But I can tell you, this is a *major departure* from the way things have always been done before and darn near took WWIII and an act of God to accomplish. We'll see how it goes.

In my opinion, anytime employees are meeting in a public place -- a restaurant, a resort, a hotel, etc., where a spouse would normally be freely allowed to enter -- and the Company insists that they are not allowed to come in, that is DEAD WRONG.

If they need privacy to do what they're doing because spouses would distract them, then they should bloody well be in their offices getting this vitally important work done. What the hell are they doing having dinner at a fancy resort and telling their wives and husbands to stay out? What kind of "work" is that?

It's not work. It's bonding. THAT'S what spouses interfere with, and THAT'S why they have to stay out.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<<<Personally, I don&#8217;t want my H bonding with his coworkers. It&#8217;s hard enough to have the time for bonding between us as work takes up entirely too much time and energy. I don&#8217;t want him going to recreational sites having a good time that should be reserved for us. I don&#8217;t want him going to dinner with his coworkers when spouses are not invited. They aren&#8217;t discussing business; they are socializing>>>

THANK YOU! At least I'm not the only one who feels this way.

<<<Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture?>>>

Yeah -- me!