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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 113
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 113 |
OK OK OK OK you have all said to go to plan B. I'm just not sure I can do that right now I feel like if go to plan B all will be lost. I will be doing exactly what OM wants and WW does not. At times I feel so close to reconciliation but at others I do not. only talked to my WW once today and tommarrow I will probly not speak to her at all. It is her day off and she will be with OM all day. She wanted to go out tomarrow night but I'v heard it all before. She will not go. Maybe I I'll give it a few days and not talk to her. see what happens.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
wrngler the reason for plan B is to preserve what love you have left so that in the eventuality that she wants to come back and committ to rebuilding the M, your love for her will help to sustain you thru the initial rough seas of recovery. Make no mistake, many have taken back their WS without a committment to work on the M and got only window dressing efforts from the WS, and then the WS decides that s/he wants to leave once more.
But it's your call.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 77
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 77 |
wrngler
Going to Plan B feels like cutting off your right arm. However if you are going to be dragged into a roller mill by it then that is what you have to do.
Only you can decide if you are doing any good by continuing with Plan A. You will not be doing any good if you lose your love for your W. What do you think you have to lose by going to Plan B? You may think that the OM will want you to go to Plan B. Will he want to meet all of your W's ENs?
While you continue with Plan A OM and WS have the best of both worlds.
If you have done the best Plan A you can do and feel that you can't add anymore then Plan B may be your only option.
If you are unsure go with SH or your MC.
Whatever you do I pray that it turns out well.
NS
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 113
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 113 |
I am just going to back off for awhile and se what happens. I love her very much. I still have alot of love left for her. Anytime I spend with her things go well and I actually feel closer to her. It's only when Om is around that I feel awful. I'm just going to sit back awhile. I'm sure OM will do his usual LBing. But I'm not going to listen to her complain and I'm just going to keep my distance.
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 501
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 501 |
Not much to add. Sounds like you are doing what you feel is right for you.
Just keep in mind what TMCM and NS said about preserving your love and the OM meeting all the ENs.
It doesn't sound like OM could possibly meet all ENs. IMVHO, this A may disintegrate if OM has to actually step up to the plate. Keep Strong.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
wrngler another benefit of plan B is that it takes you away from experiencing more hurtful images on your WW's part that add to your resentment account and will make it difficult to close it if she ever does decide to come to rebuild the M. If you don't beleive me just go to the recovery board and read the stories of BS's trying to overcome the bad images of their WS's when they were knee deep in their A's, and see the tremendous struggle they face in getting rid of them.
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