ONce again if you dont know my history see the links below as well as I'm the BS, but I got the boot!!

Any I am going home, more than likely against her wishes. How should I handle sleeping arrangements. I would like to sleep in our bed and I know that she will flip out at this. She is going to go balistic anyway. Any ideas?

<small>[ December 10, 2002, 07:04 PM: Message edited by: Luki ]</small>

Luki,
Sleep in your bed but if she kicks you out you have to comply ... Remember, don't even ask just climb to bed ... and do not try any hanky panky. Do not approach her physically unless you are invited <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> , otherwise sleep on "your side" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> . If she ask you about sleeping arrangement, ask her what she wants and comply with it w/o making any gestures.

-rh-

Luki - I'm inclined to agree with rh, but what are your options? Also, what was the status before you left?

Alternatively, I'll mention my knee-jerk reaction before I read rh's reply (and remembered the "smart" way to handle aliens). This was a sorta move back in, it's my house and my bed, too, so if she doesn't want to work on the marriage, she should accept the consequences of this decision which is for her to sleep somewhere else if she's not comfortable.

But this likely won't get you anywhere in the grand plan. It falls under the "do you wanna be right or do you wanna be married?" question. Clearly, you have every right to your own bed. But in her conscious coma, she cannot weigh both sides of the argument.

So, in the evolution of this reply, I predict that when she discovers your intent to move back in, she'll likely b**ch and scream and yell about sleeping arrangements, along with everything else, before you get a chance to bring it up. If I'm wrong and she doesn't mention it, I suggest you simply ask her what her desires are BEFORE you climb in next to her.

WAT

"Pillows between us." Got a couple big pillows right down the middle of the bed, not only does it enable me to sleep in my bed it is also symbolic of all that is between us.

I will also tell you that it is more lonely sleeping in the bed than the couch.

Keep your head up and your stick on the ice.

Luki,
when are you moving in?????

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> do not try any hanky panky. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I think that will be the last thing on my mind(Pretty strange for a guy, I know).

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> she should accept the consequences of this decision which is for her to sleep somewhere else if she's not comfortable.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am prepared for that. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Pillows between us." </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's a thought!

I think I will let her bring it up and comply. Plan A all the way, I guess. My options are two other bedrooms so I won't be on the couch or anything. We were in the same bed up until one night before I left.

I am going back home Friday morning. We have counseling tomorrow night and I want beat WAT's "record". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Plus the weekend gives her a chance to cool down to boil.

But seriously, the counselor is good and I want to get another joint session in so I know that I have done everything I can, the right way. But, I can't be held hostage by the fact that she may bail on the counseling after this.

Thanks.

Luki -
Since it sounds like you have plenty of sleeping options maybe you should take the time to think about how you will feel about the sleeping site. Will it hurt you if she says, no not with me? You don't need that extra bashing on Friday. Maybe just plan to sleep in one of the extra rooms and then if it gets brought up and you are lucky (ha!) enough to get to sleep in your own bed, consider it a bonus!
DB